Unemployment is the third worst feeling I’ve ever had. Loss, inadequacy, insecurity, anxiety; all rolled into one.  Sometimes I get so discouraged and disappointed that I briefly lose control of myself.  In those ‘out-of-control’ moments I often find myself glued to the computer almost randomly applying for all the jobs that I can even remotely consider myself qualified to do.

A few weeks ago, I was rambling to my life coach, Jenny Ferry, about how these ‘out-of-control’ moments are taking over my life, and sapping all my energy and motivation.  We talked about how applying for jobs through the Careerbuilder, Idealist, Monster.com sites doesn’t really work .

We talked about how overwhelmed I am by the fact that I am FREAKING UNEMPLOYED.  During the conversation with Jenny (and other members of my support network), I am reminded that I am a successful, resourceful, extraordinary person. One day (soon I hope) my perseverance is going to pay off. I’ve done more networking, informational interviews, referral calls and emails in the past 6 months than I have in my entire life.   Some good must come from this, right?

I understand that our struggles and obstacles make us stronger and in situations like this, I need to keep on swimming, but I’m so tired of failing. I need something good to happen soon. In the meantime, I’ll try to keep control of myself and channel my energy into making more phone calls and sending more email to real people, not the robots behind the job boards.

Everyone must know something about me that I am currently unaware of.  For the past year I’ve had co-workers, professors, counselors, friends, mentors, Jenny, new people that I’ve met and the GF all tell me the same thing. 

Monica, you’re awesome and successful. 

Every time someone tells me that I’m going to be fine and I should stop worrying about not finding a job, part of me doesn’t believe them (even thought I really want to believe them). I’ve worked crazy hard over the past year. I’ve been networking my ass, applying for lots and lots of jobs, going on informational interviews, going to professional conferences, tweaking my resume, building a new website all working towards getting a fucking job. 

Unfortunately, I’m one among 100’s (I know, I harass HR managers) of new graduates, and older experienced displaced workers going after the same very limited job pool.  So my goal has changed, and I’m piecing together a couple of entrepreneurial ventures with my friends and classmates.  And I’m really excited about them.  But I’m rather scared shitless. 

When I tell folks about the consulting and the promotions and the party planning, they tend to get really excited. And the more excited they get the more scared I get. 

What if I fuck it up?  What if I’m not as awesome as everyone thinks I am? 

Tonight I finally asked the GF why she keeps telling me that I’m going to be fine.  She said the proof is in the pudding. Over and over, she said, she’s seen me make something out of nothing.  She’s seen me hustle.  

She said, 

I would trust you to make a great cake because I’ve seen you make cakes and I’ve tasted your cake in the past so I don’t worry about your capacity to make good cake in the future. 

I make good cake, huh? 

I giggled at her metaphors (all food related, since we’re dieting), but I think she’s on the money. 

I am a diva (which is the female version of a hustler).  I’m seriously not going to be left penniless, homeless and hungry. I have always had a plan.  And I bought a domain name just in case. I go through my school notes, and they are filled with business plans, and funding sources, and potential partners. And I built a beautiful vision board with all my goals on it, and you can’t go wrong with a vision board.  I’m thinking about tumblring my vision board so you guys can see. It’s SO awesome, and I love it. 

I’m still scared shitless, but I’m not letting my fear stop me from moving forward.  In fact, I think my fear propels me forward.  

When my mama says she’s praying and my bosses tell me I’m great, and I interview with managers who tell me that they wish they had the money to hire me (but they don’t and they can’t), and the GF tells me that she’s not riding my anxiety train…… 

I’m going to take a deep breath.  I’m going to smile.  I’m going to nod and agree with them.  Then I’m going to double time it with my business ventures so that I don’t let all these wonderful people down. 

How do you deal with fear and insecurity?

This economy is crappy.  It’s March and I don’t have a job yet.

This is not the way I envisioned my life 3 months before graduation.  I sincerely thought I would AT LEAST have some serious leads about jobs.

But nope, it’s like 2003 all over again. I’m graduating and there are no jobs to be had.

I came to graduate school to advance my career.  But instead, I feel like I’m going to be stuck in a job like the one I left, or worse, completely jobless. Both which would suck in so many ways.

And I can’t stop asking myself, “What was the point?” Don’t get me wrong. I have gotten so much from graduate school. The much needed friendships and the sense of purpose that I’ve forged over the past two years are priceless. But when I look at my job prospects, I think I may have slid down the career ladder, instead of skipping up a few notches.

If I can’t get ahead in my career, then MPA School was 2 years of fun on the playground.

I spend hours a day looking at job announcements, applying for jobs, and working on my network. Wanna know what I get for my trouble? A growing stack of rejection letters.

And today I overheard a professor saying that my class shouldn’t expect to have jobs by May.  She said that December was a more realistic goal.

WHAT?!?!

Who has the time, patience, and most importantly, money to be jobless for an extended period of time?  I don’t even think we qualify for unemployment, since we haven’t been fired.

And who has the sanity to deal with the constant barrage of, “We’re sorry, but you’re just not good enough for this organization.”

I get so freaked out thinking about not having a job that I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands.

I’m using my Spring Break to go out to California, and knock on some doors.

Basically the thought of being jobless is SO SCARY that it trumps the fear of traveling to Cali alone (which I’ve never done).  It trumps the fear and tediousness of setting up blind informational interviews (without letting secretaries transfer me to HR).  It trumps the fear of potentially getting thrown out of a whole list of city managers’ offices and pissing someone off. It trumps the fear of being foolish getting laughed out of town. It trumps the fear of cornering the mayor of San Francisco (it is on my itinerary) and convincing him that he NEEDS me on his staff.

The fear of not getting what I want (my dream job) is so strong that it gives me the strength to do other things that would otherwise make me nervous and sweaty.  I’d rather go and fail than not try at all.

I think the odds are in my favor, however.  When I think about the past few jobs I’ve had, this approach has served me well.  My past successes have been during those times where I’ve walked up to someone (literally) and told them why they needed to hire me (and not the dozens of applications that I’d completed).

I had someone who I think is REALLY f-ing smart remind me earlier this week, when I was in the midst of a breakdown, that good things tend to happen to me.  She told me to calm down, regroup and make a plan.  She, and others, keep telling me that it’s still early and I shouldn’t be worried about not finding a job.

Unfortunately, my worry just can’t be turned off. But I did regroup, get myself together, and make a plan.

On Sunday, off I go to California.

To take control of my future, and guerilla my way into a job.

“Don’t you think you could be a successful student and get a job after graduation if you take 14 or better yet, 12 credits this semester?” she asked.

I struggled for, like, the 5th time in the past few weeks to explain to someone why I lied to myself again.

You see, I told myself in October, November, and December of last year (2008) that if I could just make it to the end of the semester, I would not do this thing, this thing that I am about to do, again.

You see, I’m about to take 16 credits.

And while I would have no problem eating crow and dropping a class if I get too overwhelmed or if one of them sucked, but based on the class titles, the descriptions, and the professors, I NEED to be in ALL these classes.  They complete my theme.

I get that 16 credits is a lot for graduate school, but if I could do it last semester, then I can do again this semester. Dammit!

But when I tried to explain the concept of my theme to my therapist today, she was making some hellafied faces at me.  Similar to the faces of all the other people over the past month who have heard about the marathon of classes that I’m taking this Spring.

My classmates, mostly, are barely taking enough classes to be full time and stare at me wide-eyed when I explain to them my hustle plan. And my faculty advisor, bless his heart, is so focused on getting my capstone (master’s thesis) completed that he may have a conniption fit if he finds out my class schedule. My girlfriend, if I complain one ioda, may push me down a flight of stairs and scream after me, “I TOLD YOU SOOOOOO!” Not because she’s evil, but because she has spend considerable breath telling me to drop something, anything, so that I don’t find myself burnt out and super stressed in April.

My mother, on the other hand, thinks I’m a genius and is so very proud. Her only concern is what we are doing for graduation. Are we having a dinner, throwing a party, sending out invitations?  For her, graduating isn’t an option. Passing my classes isn’t an option. She just assumes (rightly so) that everything that needs to get done will get done. And frankly, she doesn’t give two sh!ts how they get done. All she knows is, her oldest daughter is graduating with a Master’s degree on Mother’s Day and is going to be fabulously successful. And while I know that she really doesn’t understand the work that will go into accomplishing that goal, I love the fact that she just assumes it’s going to happen. She even wants to come to school to hear me defend my paper. (she’s so sweet).

But for everyone who isn’t my mother-those of ya’ll who are now thinking, “Why the hell does Monica HAVE to take 16 credits and what the hell is this theme she speaks of?”

Here is your answer.

I’m taking 16 credits because I am in school to learn and I believe that I have a duty to take advance of this time that I am taking for graduate school.  Why pay the tuition, and take the time off (when I could be working) to come to graduate school if I’m just going to pussyfoot around and half-ass it?

I’m taking 16 credits because I genuinely want to learn, and everything that I’m enrolled in sounds so COOL. And I would never forgive myself if I don’t soak up as much as I can from the professors that I am taking. One of my professors is one of the coolest men I know. He’s funny, brilliant, and he’s f-ing famous.

I ‘m taking 16 credits because at some point in the future, I’m going to go on interviews (or at least have to explain to someone what I’ve learned in graduate school), and having a wide breath of knowledge and some topics that I’ve dug a little deeper into sounds like a reasonable idea.

And that leads me to the idea of a theme.  A theme is a set of inter-related classes that paint a broader picture of a theory or policy or an application.

See, Fall 2008 also had a theme. The theme of last semester was Housing and Community Development.

Housing Policy was my favorite class. I learned how to develop affordable housing, I learned about new ideas and trends in affordable housing. I learned so much about the housing crisis and I am kicking myself right now for not posting more about it over the semester. I learned the policy (and economic) implications for developing affordable housing.  I also learned what the hell “affordable” means. I also learned that there are people who are poor enough that affordable housing isn’t affordable.

The class made me sad, it made me mad, some days it made me want to throw things.  But at the end of the day, it reminded me how much I love houses, homes and communities. It reignited my passion for housing. And gave me some tools that will help me to work in that area.

One other class that worked with my theme was Urban Revitalization.  While Housing Policy looked at mostly federal regulations, UR was all about neighborhoods.  Getting down to where people live, literally. UR made me think about housing and real estate as a neighborhood issue. To be successful as a housing advocate or developer, I have to have a workable relationship with the neighborhoods where I work. This class was the flip side of Housing Policy, and I’m glad I took them both together.

While these classes make up the bulk of my theme, I took the research from these two classes to write papers for other classes.  Basically I wrote 1 paper, and adapted it for the requirements of other classes. I think I used it 3 or 4 times.

This allowed me to dig deeper into a topic area, Inclusionary Zoning.  Basically, inclusionary zoning is a mechanism that local governments can use to create and sustain affordable housing.  And you, dear readers, are reading the words of an inclusionary zoning expert.  *** popping my collar****    I can talk about IZ from a legal point (constitutional and case law) from an economic point and a social policy point. I even worked on a project for a local organization that hopefully will spurn inclusionary zoning policies in my local community.

This spring semester, my theme is Real Estate Development and Social Entrepreneurship. AND my classes compliment my capstone and will provide the background for my dissertation. (Ya’ll knew I wanted to be Dr. Monica one day, right?)

My classes include New Urbanism and Sustainable Development, Real Estate Funding, Capital Budgeting, Policy Implications of the Creative Class, Intro to Social Entrepreneurship and some other stuff that they are making me take. See the theme?  NOW do you see why I have to leave my schedule intact?

I want to use these classes, especially New Urbanism class, and the Creative Class Policy class to build on my capstone research (which I realize that I haven’t really explained at all on this blog, maybe I’ll get to it next time) and set up my dissertation research. And the other classes, Budgeting, Real Estate Funding and Social Entrepreneurship, along with one class from the Fall, Non-Profit Law, will help me start my real estate development business.

Anyway, the point here is that there is a method to my madness. While I may want to die come April, when this is all over, I will have accomplished something significant.  I will have a body of work on topics that I care about and (hopefully) publishable articles, I will be clear candidate for the types of employment I want and I will already have the groundwork for my dissertation all set up for when that time comes. And oh yeah, I’ll be able to tell folks what I’ve been doing for the past 2 years.

So yeah, I may be crazy, but 16 credits and 5 months of super hard work doesn’t seem like that much when I think of where it will put me in the long run. And to answer my therapist’s question, no, it wouldn’t be the same with 12 credits. It would destroy my theme, and furthermore, what would I drop?!?!?!?

So I’m preparing to hunker down, and get it done. I’ll see you at the finish line.

I think I’ve mentioned at least once or twice how I love my job at the Chamber of Commerce. I’ve learned a lot since I started working there. I’ve learned so much; about myself, the kind of job I want in the future, and about the kinds of work I want to do. (An ode to why I love the Chamber is in the works, just not for today.)

Last week, I approached my boss to ask for the week between X-mas and News Year’s off.  And was informed that my services would not be needed after Wednesday. This coming Wednesday.  Sadness (and panic), ensues.

I mean my boss was is awesome.  He made sure I understood why I’m being laid off. I’mbeing laid off because they can’t afford me, not because I suck as an employee.  He even said that I rock as an employee and he wishes he could keep me and he’s being talking me up to folks who may be in a position to hire me.

I can’t believe that I’m being LAID OFF, this is so weird.

Why I’m being laid off (a longer version):

You see, the Chamber of Commerce is a membership organization.  Their members are local area businesses. And in a recession, businesses make less money.  All the businesses, regardless of whether they are professional services, restaurants, retailers, bars, or financial institutions when they make less money, they cut stuff to preserve the bottom line.   And some (I don’t know how many, exactly) of the Chamber’s members are not renewing their dues. I know the real estate and development community has been hit pretty hard.

As the Chamber’s members tighten their belts, the Chamber has to tighten theirs. And the intern budget disappears.

So I’m jobless. And not because I did anything wrong. Which makes it so much easier and happier (you can tell by my use of flowers and smiley faces and exclamation points, how much I mean this)

How the hell did I not see this coming???

But I didn’t see it coming. All this time, I’ve been making fun of the Big 3 and how they failed to innovate or do ANYTHING really.

And I’ve been scratching my head about the financial crisis and have shaken my head in disgust in my policy class when we would learn about the greed of Wall Street investors and am incredulous that they could do the sh*t they’ve done and still be holding their hands out.

I still haven’t figured out what the fu*k is the problem with the banks and why the hell can’t they just LEND money.

I’ve rolled my eyes at folks who made bad mortgages decisions. I mean, when I was looking for a home at age 24 I knew enough not to get into a ARM or a Balloon or a variable rate mortgage, so how are all these other people stupid enough to fall for it?

Well, I’ve heard the Chamber’s Executive Director talk about how next year will be the hardest year for the Chamber, who over the past 10 years has experienced double digit growth, but for the first time ever will be facing a cut.

But I didn’t know that meant that I’d be history.

Basically, I was stupid.  I thought that if I did more than my job, took initiative (asked for more work), and stayed visible and engaged, I’d have a job as long as I wanted it.

I was wrong. Sometimes when you do everything right sh*t still happens. And since I’m the low man on the totem pole, I shouldn’t be surprised that I happened to me.

It is fu*king hard out there for a pimp. (and I should know, as I am a pimp)

And the more I’ve thought about it today, even as I made a list of all the organizations in the area that I’ve like to work for the next semester, places I’m going to call right after the holiday break, I realized that probably every one of those organizations is going through a hard time. And as organizations slash millions from their budgets I KNOW that hiring me is going to be a hard sell.

Then I read this offer on Havi’s blog today and it seemed like a dream.  So I applied. And while I didn’t get the offer, it has given me another angle with which to approach my next move. And it gave me hope that work does exist. And I mean work from anywhere in the world kind of work, which would be awesome.

I mean, I’ve been toying with the whole freelance copywriting idea since the summer, and even talked to Naomi about it. But I never followed up or through.

So I’m developing my pitch, which will highlight the fact that hiring me as a contract working is WAY cheaper than hiring a full time employee, the fact that I can research and write, and the fact that I know all the local players.  And one of my favorite local news sources has even mentioned the fact that I’m hirable.  And that gives me hope.

And Kelly gave me a whole list of sites that I can use, in addition to what Naomi gave me, to start seriously start copywriting. And I starting feeling a little better. A little more hopeful.

And I talked to the gf and shared my fears about never getting a job (now or before May) because this is like a replay of 2003 right after Bush bombed Iraq and all the job leads I had dried up (I wanted to be an au pair in France, but after the bombs fell and the whole freedom fries thing, French parents started specifying English, from England au pairs, not American English-speaking girls.)  That’s right the Spring of 2003 was the pre-cursor to Hell Year!!

And when I think about that I get nervous and I start to sweat and I get paralyzed and unable to do ANYTHING. Then the gf tells me that she believes in me, enough even, that I don’t have to believe in myself today. And that gives me LOTS of hope, because she’s pretty smart, and she wouldn’t have faith in me if I were a complete loser.

To all my fellow low men on the totem pole, I wish I had something uplifting and spiritual and sh*t to share with you to make you feel that your job is not  in danger.

Sorry, I can’t say that.

But I can say that even if the complete bottom falls out. I am NOT too proud to work at Target. I am NOT too proud to bus tables. I am NOT too proud to work at the mall. (and neither should you be)

But I don’t really want to work at any of those places (and neither do you). What I do want to do is convince organizations that they need my skills (even if they don’t necessary have the budget for staff) and that hiring me to work on projects saves them time and money, and helps them to check small-ish projects off their to-do list.

So I’m still tackling the list of organizations that I made earlier today, I’m just refining the way I talk to them. And I’m no longer panicked. I have a plan. A plan that I probably should have BEEN working on, anyway.

How are you recession-proofing your job?

I am the oldest of four children.  Luckily, my mother gave birth to excellence all four times. We are smart, beautiful, gifted, funny and one day we will rule the world.

While I do believe the genes worked in my favor in a lot of ways, there is at least one way that my siblings are better than me.

My brother and sisters have awesome fashion sense.

And I don’t.

This comes to my attention every time I look at my youngest sister.  This woman is 18 and she dresses beautifully. She always looks well put together (even when she’s wearing sweatpants and t-shirts).  It is so not fair.  And my brother, goodness, this boy makes jeans and polos look as good as anything I’ve ever seen. They can wear colors and shapes and style and so many things that make me look dumpy and old. Or too young and fat.  Either way, my babies always look great, and I often look a step-child. And they are quick to point out all the fashion mistakes I make.

Well, this year I made a decision.  I am an adult andI need to dress like an adult. And just any old adult. I need to be hot, sexy, (but professional) lady.  I need to be a bombshell at all times.  I need walk into a room and hear my theme music.  [It is Dancing Queen, btw]

I need confidence.

I think better clothes will give me more confidence.

Furthermore, I’m in transition. I’m about to start the last semester of MPA school.  I’m going to going on interviews soon. I’m moving across the country. I’m starting a new life.   I am an adult, I should look like one. And I need to feel good about myself.  Now. Not just when I lose 20 pounds.

I’m growing up, and creating my personal style. Most importantly, my outside needs to match my inside, which we all know is peaches and cream, sugar and spice, super cool and awesomeness.

So this year, when my mother took me out for our customary “its your birthday, let’s buy clothes” shopping extravaganza, I made my super awesome, fashionista sister come with. And I made her give me lessons on putting outfits together. She had some good things to say:

• Make sure that shirts are long enough, so that you aren’t fidgeting with a too-short shirt
• Pants, likewise, should be long (my sis is tall and thinks highwaters are the devil)
• Stick to colors that are easy to match (but don’t get stuck)
• Take risks and don’t be afraid to try new things
• Love accessories (belts, necklaces, earrings, etc)
• Layer- camisoles and cardigans are your friend
• Buy clothes that fit (not too tight or you look skanky, but not so big that you look like a balloon)
• Create a long leansilhouette (no bulges)
• Be comfortable

This shopping trip was fun. For the first time, i didn’t fret that all the trendy jean styles didn’t look good.  I didn’t buy pants thinking, well, when I lose weight it’ll look  better. And I wasn’t in charge of finding my sizes (my sister was).

[Aside: This girl is a Economic major, but I swear she should be an image consultant. I'd PAY her for her insight, or to just go shopping and bring the clothes to me.]

I bought clothes that fit well and made me look more awesome than usual. And I’m really f-ing happy with my purchases.

Granted, some things never change so most of my new clothes are black, gray and red (I bet 80% of my closet consist of those colors). But wait, i bought a green cardigan and I bought something purple.   I also bought a few items that I normally wouldn’t wear, like buttondown shirts and hip hugging sweaters. AND I bought one of those wide belts that is supposed to accentuate my figure, and  long pants that fit. (no muffintop or highwaters for me, lol).

But since my birthday isn’t until Dec. 13 (that’s right, Saturday!!!!) I can’t wear my beautiful new clothes until then. BOO!   However, my lovely gf is taking out for fabulous dinner, and I’m looking forward to getting dressed up in my  new birthday clothes!

I’m applying for a fellowship that requires that I write a personal statement.  In a week or two, I’m actually going to post the final product.

I’ve had to write a few personal statements over the years, for undergrad, and during the application process for law school and graduate school.  Each personal statement is a little different, and I like to draw on different experiences to create a vision of myself that makes people want to pick me for their program.

In this case, my personal statement is a big component of whether I am accepted into this fellowship program.  And entrance into the fellowship program will open doors for multiple interviews with local governments throughout the United States.  It’s kind of a big deal, and I want to show myself to be the awesome leader that I am.

For the past few weeks I have been thinking (more than usual) what it means to be a good leader, and I am always on the lookout for my leadership in action. Today, I was able, within a 20 time span to get a glimpse of Monica-The Leader.

The following conversations with my classmates simulated (in my mind at least) what I would be like as a manager.  The personal insight into these conversations also made me realize how much I depend on my soft skills. They reminded me of the importance of context when making decisions. And it brought to my attention some potential weaknesses in my leadership style.

A classmate in another department called me and said the following:

Him: Monica, I’m exhausted. I’ve been working on blah, blah, blah project and I really want to go to bed. Do you know of anything happening in class today that I NEED to be there for?

Me: Honey, I don’t know what we are doing in class, but it doesn’t matter. Go home. Go to bed, if anything important happens in class, I’ll send you an email.

Him: I thought that would be your answer, that’s why I called you (instead of our other classmate, S).

Me: Ha! You knew I would give you a pass! Hmmm, what does that say about me…. Okay, love, go home, sleep well.

Then I had a conversation with another classmate about a problem she was having getting in touch with a government hack. She asked me for guidance and advice.

Her: I’ve been trying to get in touch with this government bureaucrat about XYZ policy for a paper I’m writing, but he isn’t responding to my email. It’s weird, he responds to my other email about other stuff. We’ve been corresponding for weeks.

Me: He doesn’t want to talk you about xyz. XYZ policy, if implemented, will increase his workload.  If you want to talk to him, you have to call him and bully him into telling you what he thinks about XYZ. He’s not going to respond to your email on this topic. You also need to come to terms with the idea that he won’t talk to you about this. It’s too much of a political hot potato for him.

Her: If my finding is that the government employees don’t want this policy, then it is going to make someone angry.

Me: You are going to make someone angry. Get used to it and get over it. It’s your job to get the truth, not to worry about who gets mad about it.

These conversations made me think about what kind of leader am I? Am I the kind of leader that shows compassion for folks (even when I suspect that my classmate was up late last time because he waited to the last minute to get something done).

Or am I the kind of leader that expects folks to suck it up, and do what they are supposed to do, and make the tough decisions?

Hmmm.

Empathy

Reflecting on how my classmate in the first conversation made me reevaluate how others see me.  I generally see myself as a hard-ass. I even had a professor (or two) comment on how they wouldn’t want want work for me.  I demand excellence, in myself and in others. And I don’t give breaks….or do I?

Thinking that I could potentially be seen as a softie was a huge blow to my perceived management style.  But when I think about how I deal with real people, I see a myriad of examples where I cut other people slack. (Maybe I’m not such a meanie, after all)

I apparently have a huge capacity for empathy – when the situation warrants it.  I have often found myself, the day after pulling an all-nighter, needing to go home and recharge.  I understood his situation, and I knew that it would be better for him (and me) if he got some sleep today.

In the real world, would I have been so forgiving if it were female employee telling me her kid was up all night sick and she needed to take some time off? Of course.

What if an employee took a day off to play video games? Probably not.

Intuitiveness

On the other hand, in the second situation, I wasn’t willing to let my classmate off the hook. I knew it was in the best interest of her paper to get the truth from that government hack.  I knew he was ignoring her because she was asking a question that he didn’t want to answer.

I was able to motivate her to keep digging and I was able to read between the lines quickly to figure out what the issue was and give her suggestions on how to go about fixing it.

Soft Skills

Leadership is more than having the right answer. It is more than being the best at Excel or some fancy design software or being able to do the best regression analysis.

Leadership comes down to people.

I worry that as I apply for jobs, my strengths, those soft skills like intuition and empathy, aren’t going to be as well received as some other MPAer how spent the last year and a half actually learning statistics, and excel and GIS. (bleh)

I spend the last year and a half learning about people. I’ve learned how to motivate and negotiate. I’ve learned how to recognize the strengths and weaknesses of others (and help others to be successful). I’ve learned how to connect differing ideas into a workable plan. I’ve learned how to deal with weirdo personalities. I’ve learned how to pick good team members, and when that fails, I’ve learned how to work in the most jacked-up team ever. I’ve learned to listen and give good advice.  I’ve learned to do small talk, and get people to like me.

And when it all boils down, people like me should will be running the show anyway.  As my colleagues and I make our way up the career ladder, it won’t take long to separate the idea leaders from the task leaders. (And there is nothing wrong with being a task leader. You just shouldn’t be leading people. You should be doing your tasks.)

But I truly consider myself a big idea person. I don’t care how something gets done. Just do it.

So when interviewers ask me about my strengths the challenge for me will be, not only tell them my strengths, but also why those skills matter. And why they should hire me. Immediately.

I mean, anyone can learn budgeting or finance or statistical analysis, but not everyone can deal with people.

For a couple of months, I’ve been toying with the idea of developing an on-line networking site.  I’ve spent countless hours (when I probably should have been working on my studies) thinking about the different aspects and features of my very cool networking site.  I multi-tasked in class looking at different software that I could use to develop it. I thought about domain names, and mission statements, and how to build a business brand (or at least a non-profit) around my idea.  Like everything I do, I obsessed about it.

So.

Here’s my idea. Or the story behind my idea.

2 weeks ago I listened (or pretended to) to a lecture by a government hack who was talking a group of other government hacks (and future government hacks, i.e. MPAers) about the way we Gen Y and Millennial (and Gen X to a certain extent) MPA, MPP degree holders manage our careers.

His main points:

We change jobs frequently. We aren’t attached to a job title, an organization or a boss.  If something better, more fun, more interesting, more engaging comes along; we bounce like a bad check.  On to bigger and better things. (This is not a surprise to anyone under 32.)

We change sectors frequently. We don’t particularly care if we work for non-profits, governments (local, state or federal), or the private sector or ourselves. And at some point in our careers, most of us will have worked for a combination of these entities.  Most of us are in it to make a difference, change the world, start a revolution-otherwise we would be getting MBA’s and not MPA’s. And chasing the almighty dollar.

Ahem.  That is the back story.

This is the front.

I am looking for a work opportunity and I want to expand my professional work-related network. I would say I want to start my career but that sounds so stick in the mud and is so.not.me. I would say I’m looking for a job, but “job” sounds hard and boring and I don’t want work to be hard, I want it to be fun, engaging and I want to contribute to the welfare of my fellow man, dammit.  And I really don’t care who I work for.

And I figured there are lots of others just like me, graduating with a MPA, MPP, Political Science, Social Policy, blah blah blah degree but not really looking to be a cog in someone else’s wheel. And I know there are other young professionals and recent grads just like us who are trying to get off the bureaucracy bandwagon and actually DO something useful.  Even if it’s just for volunteer.

And then I thought, Wouldn’t it be fun if we all (all the world changers, in all job sectors, around the world) had a place where we could meet, greet, exchange ideas, talk about available jobs, share our work/war stories (horror and other) network, chit chat, build a community, make a difference, help each other and save the world (and the whales)?

My networking site could be a hub for all the sh!t that I think about when I’m sitting in class learning (supposedly) how to affect organizational change or read a regression line.

Today my school sent me a survey, no doubt sponsored by the government hack from the beginning of the story, and it listed some of the best known on-line social media outlets (myspace, facebook, linkedin, blogs)  and asked the question, which of these do you utilize  most? I scrolled down to the bottom of the list, because, of course, I use them all and I want pick the other box so I can add twitter (and ping) and when I get to the bottom I see a website that I have never heard of.

Like all things internet related, I must know what this mysterious, unknown website is……

And damn if it’s not my f*cking idea!  Just in case you, like me, have been living under a rock, apparently, and have never heard of this site; it is Idealist.org and it is pretty f*cking cool.  I’m just mad I didn’t think of it first. Dammit.

Now I have to think of another big idea. Sh!t.

So I’ve been thinking (for ages) about writing this post, but something else always trumped it. So today is the day! Because,…well, I just want to give the relationship series a break for a little while.

I believe in people. I believe that it is people (not policies or businesses or markets, or any other inorganic, non-breathing thing) that make the world go ‘round. I believe this so much that, right now, as I look for my dream job I’m not hella keen to fill out a bunch of job applications. I just don’t think my life works that way.

Let me back up and explain.

Last year, I really wanted (not wanted, needed desperately) to spend the summer in Atlanta. Unfortunately, I’ve lived and build my network in North Carolina, so the idea of trying to find an internship in another state gave me heart palpitations. I didn’t know what I was going to do.

I mean, I could have d*amn near picked from a stack of NC internships (yes, the girl is THAT good) but no one KNOWS me in Atlanta, and worse, I DIDN”T KNOW ANYBODY. And I knew that I would be competing with students from Ga schools who would also be in the market for summer professional work experience. (which also increased my anxiety level)

For weeks, I spend tons of fruitless hours looking for internships; cold calling, cold emailing, I did online internship searches, I was on listserves… you name it, I did it. All the while, I felt a clock ticking telling me time was running out. (Granted it was freaking October, but I had a mission, remember?)

Wanna know how I got my internship?

One person who knew me =>  knew two people who worked in Atlanta => who got me two interviews => which got me my internship.

I was at a student/faculty meet and greet where I introduced myself as, “Monica, a first year grad student who wants to intern in Atlanta for the summer.” One of the professors said, I used to work in Atlanta, send me your resume and I’ll see what I can do.

Summer internship? Check!

Before I left for Atlanta, I was already thinking ahead to where I wanted to work when I came back to NC for school.  I happened to be at an event with the Executive Director of the Chamber of Commerce (where I knew I wanted to work). I approached him, reminded him of who I am (he remembered) and I asked him for a job.

I told him that I was going to be away for the summer, but that I would love to do a phone interview to talk about the arrangement. A business card, a month, and one phone interview later, I already knew where I was going to be working when I left Atlanta (and I hadn’t even gotten to Atlanta, yet!)

Year-long internship? Check!

This summer, the day that I was moving to Atlanta, I was in a car accident. Allegedly, the accident was my fault and I got a traffic ticket. The terms of the ticket were that A.) I could just pay it (NOT.GONNA.HAPPEN!) B.) I could get a lawyer to appear in court (NOT! That costs $$$, which I didn’t have) or C. I could appear in court.

By the way, I always appear in court and defend myself.  I think of it as practice for when I’m an attorney.

The problem with me appearing in court in North Carolina was that I was going to be living 6 hours away, and my court date was a Wednesday. So, I would have to miss some work time (and $$$) to drive, appear in court, and drive right back. (And gas prices were NO JOKE).  I knew there was no way that I was going to make that court date.

So I did what anyone would have done. I called the court to see if I could get the court date moved.  No luck. The lady told me some story claiming that I had to appear in person to change my court date. I tried to explain that I was a student who was out of the state, and I couldn’t appear in person to change the date anymore than I could actually appear on the date they gave me.  She didn’t get it.

There was an hour or two when I was frustrated and almost willing to just say “f*ck it! I just won’t show up, since they are making it so difficult to play by the rules”. BTW, that would have triggered a warrant for my arrest, which would have been unfortunate.

Then I remembered my ace.

I once interned in the Clerk of Court office, and later I’d interviewed for a job there. So I emailed the guy that I’d interviewed with (like three and a half years prior), reminded him of who I was (he remembered), told him my situation, and asked what he could do.

Less than an hour later, I had a new court date.

This is the story of my life.

I could go on and on. At least 4 other jobs/internship that I’ve had over the years I’ve gotten because I knew someone who knew someone who got me in front of someone who could get me a job.

I can also tell you of at least one job that I was the runner-up on (also got that interview because I knew someone who knew someone). Guess who got the job? Someone they already knew.

This is the power of people. This is why I network my @ss off. This is why I collect business cards, shake hands and kiss babies.

The people you meet and the people you know totally make a difference.

This is why, during this new job search, I roll my eyes every time I fill out an application. I don’t think I’m going to get my dream job from filling out applications. I totally believe that I’m going to get my dream job by telling my network, “Hey, everyone! I’m looking for my dream job in the San Francisco Bay area.  You know anybody out there? Can you help a sista out?

Then I’m just going so sit back and wait for the goodness to happen. It NEVER fails.

And I’m not playing. Do YOU know anybody in the Bay area? Hit me up. I’m looking for a job.

Today, tomorrow, and Tuesday I’m in Richmond, VA at the ICMA conference bullying city and county managers (and a few stray recruiters and consultants) into giving me a job.

I have talked my @ss off today. I have met so many people, received so many cards (I don’t have any dammit!). Now it’s 10 pm, and the introvert in me is very tired. I don’t want to talk to anyone for a while.

Since 10 am I have been ON. Smiling, smoozing, hob-nobing, whatever and but by 8pm, my feet (in 3 inch heels) were DONE. I couldn’t bring myself to have a meaningful conversation with another person. All I was willing to talk about was how tired I was and how I wanted to go back to my room.

However, it has been a great day. And I wrote a cool post (I think) about some of what I learned today.

You can read it all here. But here are some highlights.

I attended two great sessions. The first was a Speed Coaching session where seasoned managers talked to us newbies about how to make it do what it do, i.e. be sucessful, get jobs, navigate the career ladder(s), etc.

Here’s what I learned:

*I need to discover my values and look for organizations that reflect those values. In my case, that means finding an organization that is progressive, forward thinking, and creative. For others, that may mean finding an organization that values loyalty, “stick-to-it-ive-ness” or some other core personal value.

*Don’t get pigeoned-holed. I heard the word “generalist” at least 10 times. According to the manager coaches, it is hard to move from a departmental role to a Manager/Assistant role. I was told that if I want to be a Manager, I should be looking at “Assistant to” or Management Analyst jobs more so than jobs in departments.

*On the other hand, I was also told to be flexible. This relates to moving between organizations, relocating geographically, and the types of jobs that I take. In all of these, I need to be willing to learn as much as I can and gain a wide range of experiences as I advance up my career ladder.

*I need to have clear career goals. As I interview with different jurisdictions, I need to know how I can contribute to the organization, but I also need to know what I hope to learn; should it be budgeting, personnel, supervision, or just more about an issue.

*I need to build a network and have mentors. Several managers told me that they had help moving up the management ranks. Many of them had bosses who encouraged them to apply for jobs that would give them additional leadership experience or they had folks to tell them that it was time to more from one position to another.

*I need to decide what size organization works best for me. Several mangers said that there are basically two tracks: I could join a smaller organization where I could be in a higher position where I would have more responsibility or I could join a larger organization, where I would be probably be in a “lower” position, but would have more resources and more opportunity for growth. I also heard that is it hard to move from the small org. track to the large org track.

*Stand out from the crowd. Cultivate what makes you different. If your passions, (like mine) include housing policy, economic and downtown development, then you should work with that as a starting place. If you are a creative, out of the box thinker (also, like me) let it shine!

I also had the chance to attend a Women In Management Luncheon, where there was a panel discussion that talked about challenges and opportunities that face female managers, and up and coming female managers. Surprisingly (or not) I heard an echo of the same things that I heard at the Speed Coaching event. Several panelists talked about being open to lots of opportunities, learn as much as you can, get mentors often and early, trust your intuition, etc.

Here’s some other things that I heard:

*Be fearless- Don’t be afraid to get promoted. And don’t doubt your abilities. Take risks!

*Be Confident- Do the thing that you think you can not do (because you can, indeed, do those things)

*Aim high- Don’t think that, because you are a woman, you can’t (or shouldn’t be) a City or County Manager.

*You can be kind and tough. And know that others shouldn’t mistake your kindness for weakness. It is important to be true to yourself, so if you are genuinely a gentle person, do that! But be prepared to stand up and make the hard decisions when they are called for. You are a leader, after all.

*Have soft skills! Anyone can learn budgeting, but everyone can’t lead people, everyone doesn’t communicate well, everyone can’t be empathetic.
Other things today….

I attended a Next Generation Mixer (it was so-so, full of 20-somethings, they wanted me to pay for water (WTF?) and I was too tired to chit-chat), and the Midwest and Mountain Plains Regional meetings (getting my hustle on), but most of the managers I have met have been from Cali. And the GF said that she would follow me to Cali, so I’m sending my resumes attached to Thank You emails. I’m getting a job.

Believe it.

The Universe needs all the help she can get!