Life in the Middle Lane

Going through the first month of the #goalmeetup I realize that I treat my monthly goals as one part “Life To-Do List”, one part “Habits to Create” and one part “Stuff I know I need to do but I’m procrastinating on”.

I’m thanking for the group coming to check up on my every month. It makes me more accountable for getting shit done. And I need that in my life.

I think I did a pretty good job of meeting last month’s goals, and that gives me the confidence to reach a little higher and more closely connect my small goals to some larger goals.  I have found my “5 most important things to work on list” to be quite useful, but those are just the 5 things I need to do to stay sane. If I want to be productive, feel some forward momentum, and feel like I’m working towards my purpose, I’m going to have to step it up a notch (or 3). If I’m going to treat this exercise like a to-do list, it better be a bad-ass to-do list.

1. Get a new hairstyle- I’ve been wearing the same ‘do since I cut all my hair off last year. It’s growing in very nicely, now I want to experiment and do something new to it

2.  Go to more professional networking events and talk to people- I keep finding cool Atlanta people online, now I just have to meet them in person.

3. Find a therapist. I was in therapy the entire 2 years I was in graduate school, so I wanted to try to go without one now. Big Mistake! I need to get back on that bandwagon.

4. Get back in touch with Jenny Ferry. Even after I dropped my therapist, I worked with Jenny and that helped me stay on track-mentally. I loved my relationship with her, so I want to plan coaching sessions during the weeks I’m not having therapy. I want to work with Jenny on my career development.

5.  Write more consistently here and at CU. I have a huge list of things to write about, and a stack of half-finished blogs.

6.  Practice writing- here and in my personal journals. I want to develop my writing skills, and that takes deliberate practice. I need to work on getting things written faster and better.

7.   Knock out some grants for my new part-time job- I just got an assignment as a grant writer. I need to complete a few grants. My payment depends on it!!

8.  Continue and revisit the goals from last month. Many of the goals from September are things I want to continue.  In order to turn those goals into habits, I need to be reminded of them- so I’m going to continue to add them to the new goals list.

Thank you guys for helping me along! Good luck to everyone else on meeting their goals.

One of the problems with setting (and keeping) goals is that I’m easily distracted. And while I’ve done a heck of a job accomplishing my goals, I’ve spent some time on things that are important, but didn’t make it on the initial list.

For example, the GF and I gave me six months to write my business plan. And I really should have a business plan as I start to build relationships with commercial developers in the city. And I have found several organizations that give grants to people who do some of the things that I want to do, but to apply for these grants, you need a business plan.  So I’ve taken some time to start working on my business plan.  Since it’s going to take a significant block of time, it needs to be added to the goals list.

Also, another unspoken goal that I’ve been working on has been writing. There had been a couple of catalysts over the past weeks that have spurred me to start writing more.  A) I’ve read a couple of books with some of the most beautiful contemporary prose, which inspires me to write and B) I’ve just finished a book for my book club that is HORRIBLE. I truly believe that if this author can be published, then dammit, so can I. So I started writing.  And since being a writer is one of my long term goals, practicing should be on my list of short-term goals.

Otherwise, here is the breakdown of how I’ve met my goals this month.

The five most important things in my life

1. Meeting new people and Making friends
2. Getting my bills settled
3. Learning my new environment
4. Building my brand
5. Being a better friend, partner and family member

What I’ve done so far to work these:

I attended my book club meeting. Even though I wasn’t impressed with the book, I have a great time with these ladies, so make an effort to attend book club events and respond to emails.  I could really be friends with these ladies.

I have been working on my budgeting skills with the help of J. Money’s templates and this month has been way better than August! I made it through the whole month without over-drafting my checking account and I’m below my limits on my credit cards. Woo-hoo!

I’ve talked to @Norcross about working on my website. He’s awesome. But I’m slow, so this is definitely a work in progress and it will likely take me a couple more months to get it all settled and done.

I’ve spent lots of time with my sister. We attended the Atlanta Arts Festival together, we went to Wal-Mart together, and I’ve gone with her to church a couple of times. We’ve both done a much better job of calling and texting each other more often.  I talk to my mom at least twice a week, so I think I’m doing a good job there. I haven’t done as great a job with the weekly emailing of my brother. I have emailed him a couple of times, and I haven’t gotten a response. Maybe I should send him a care package and a real letter

September has been a really good month for my relationship. Does that mean I got better at communicating? I don’t know. But whatever I did, I hope I can maintain it.

And all that other stuff I said I wanted to do?

1.  Calling and/or emailing my friends in NC at least once a week. I’ve gotten out of touch with my MPA family

Done. I have called, texted, or emailed someone from NC at least once a week. Completing this goal has made me feel so good. It is definitely something I want to keep doing.

2.Watch how much money I spend at the grocery store. (I tend to go a bit overboard.)

Done. Having a budget in place and going to the grocery with a list made this goal a lot easier.

3. I need to (a.) join (b.) go to (5x wkly) a gym; working out outside isn’t working for me.

Mostly done. Within the first week of September I joined a gym. While I may not have gone 5x a week, I have totally gone 3-4 times a week! And I supplemented those gym visits with off-day walks in my “neighborhood”. I can already fit into a pair of jeans that were fitting rather snuggly (and not in a good way). YAY me!

AND I’m writing grants for a non-profit that is affiliated with the gym so I got a FREE membership! Double YAY!

4.  Call my mom and sister twice a week, send my brother one email a week.  Send text messages to friends when I think of them.

Totally DONE!

5.  Build a marketing campaign for Cosmopolitan Urbanist (and find a web designer)

Not so much. But I did talk to Norcross

6.  Attend more meet-up events

Not even. But it rained for almost 16 days straight. I didn’t do many activities that made me go outside. I will do better in October.

7.  Contact local commercial developers.

I contacted one and didn’t get a response back. I found a couple more that I want to check out.

8.  Show my emotions.

Maybe. I’ve been in a pretty good mood lately, so I think so.

9.  I think I’ve found the organization that I’d like to work with next, so now I have to bring myself to their attention. I’m going to attend their September board meeting, and say something useful while I’m there.

The first week in September I got an email from this organization asking me to volunteer on a project. So I didn’t have to bring myself to their attention. They were already thinking of me

10.  (Carried over from last month) Get a map of the interior of I-285 and explore different Atlanta neighborhoods, by car.

I haven’t gotten a map, but I have traveled to some neighborhoods that I’m unfamiliar with. So, I’m giving myself a pass here.

I’m posting my October Goals tomorrow. Look Out!

Rebecca, brilliant chick that she is, has asked for participation in a Goal Meet-Up project.  Since I was planning on posting about my new goals anyway, I’m gladly joining her experiment.

Wanna hear it? Here it go!

So I’ve moved all my stuff and have been living with the GF since the end of June.  At first, I had a hellacious transition period because I moved with to Atlanta with no job and all my job leads were in California.  Initially, my plan was to keep looking for permanent employment in Cali, and get something short term (waiting tables) in the meantime.

Well, sometimes life has other plans. After just a few short weeks of looking, I landed a great job in Atlanta.  Of course, while I was job searching and mooching off the GF, my only two priorities were 1. Find a job so that I could be a contributing member of the household 2. Don’t drive the GF bonkers.

Once I got the job all squared away, and I started believing the GF when she said she wasn’t going to kick me out, I started to relax and think about life in the A. Since I’m going to be in Atlanta, I don’t want to be miserable.  I needed to get a life (and the GF strongly agreed).

So, in typical Monica-style I made myself a list, a “How to get a life” list if you will, of goals and stuck them on the vision board.  They are in order of importance and the go a little something like this:

Five things I need to work on

1. Meeting new people and Making friends
2. Getting my bills settled
3. Learning my new environment
4. Building my brand
5. Being a better friend, partner and family member

What I’ve done so far:

1. I have joined several meet-up groups and have gone to one of the events.  I have also joined a book club, and I foresee a lot of involvement there.  I have contacted a few local branches of my sorority, in hopes of becoming more active there.
2. I have created a budget and a mint.com account (thanks, Jenny Blake). I’ve called all my creditors about why I didn’t pay them all summer, and I’ve set up payment plans to get me back on track.
3. This is supposed to me be exploring Atlanta neighborhoods by myself without the GF’s GPS, but some Atlanta neighborhoods are scary and I shouldn’t be in them by myself. I’m tabling this til next month.
4. 4. I have had one meeting with a guy that could potentially build my website, but he’s not used to wordpress and I want to keep a wordpress framework, so it probably won’t work between us.  Anyone know any good (inexpensive) web designers?
5. 5. This will be an on-going goal.   My sister lives in Atlanta and I want to make sure I spend time with her. My mom gets lonely back home, and I need to keep good communication with her.  My brother, bless his heart, has finally joined the 21^st century and has email, so I want to write to him more often.  I want to keep in contact with my NC peeps, ‘cause I love and miss them. And I need to more honestly communicate in my relationship with the GF.  I can check that I have been doing all these things in August.

Next Month

1. Calling and/or emailing my friends in NC at least once a week. I’ve gotten out of touch with my MPA family
2. Watch how much money I spend at the grocery store. (I tend to go a bit overboard.)
3. I need to (a.) join (b.) go to (5x wkly) a gym; working out outside isn’t working for me.
4. Call my mom and sister twice a week, send my brother one email a week.  Send text messages to friends when I think of them.
5. Build a marketing campaign for Cosmopolitan Urbanist (and find a web designer)
6. Attend more meet-up events
7. Contact local commercial developers.
8. Show my emotions.
9. I think I’ve found the organization that I’d like to work with next, so now I have to bring myself to their attention. I’m going to attend their September board meeting, and say something useful while I’m there.
10. (Carried over from last month) Get a map of the interior of I-285 and explore different Atlanta neighborhoods, by car.

Wow. This is a lot of goals.  But since they are (mostly) things I was going to do anyway, I think I’m ok.

A few weeks ago, I said that the time and money that I spent job hunting in San Francisco was a waste. Believe me, if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have done all that traveling. I spent hundreds of dollars, and I have nothing to show for it. I wasted my time and money.

My friend, who overheard me, was aghast. How dare I say that!?!  She said I was being ungrateful. I met some really cool people, I learned  BART, I made some professional contacts that will be handy in the future. How could my time have been a waste, when I got to experience all that good stuff came out of it?

Well, I said. My trip out West was purposeful.  It was all about getting a job.  I went on 4 interviews with 3 organizations.  And I came home empty-handed.  So yeah, a waste.

But what about the experience, my friend implores. I got to do a lot of cool stuff! The travel, the time spent in a really cool city hanging out with the locals going to the really cool restaurants. I got to do something few other people get to do. My friend said I was looking at the experience too narrowly.

My friend was right.  I’ve (mostly) had a great time in San Francisco.

But I wasn’t wrong.  I went to California with a goal in mind; I expected FULLY to get a job out of the deal. But in this case, I came home without meeting my goal.  Were my expectations too high? Should I be satisfied having the experience? Or should I continue to focus on meeting my goal?

I’m not satisfied with JUST having the experience. Is Hillary satisfied that she had the experience of running for president? I think not. I’m sure it will help her in the long run, but RIGHT NOW I doubt that she’s jumping for joy.  What about all the American Idol hopefuls, or the Miss America runner-ups or the teams that didn’t win the Super Bowl. Do you believe them when they give their farewell speech and say that they are happy to have the experience? Yeah, I get that they are happy for the experience, but they came to win, right? And it sucks to get [thisclose] and then fail to meet your goal.

I came to win.  And while I enjoyed my time in San Francisco, I didn’t win. And when it comes to looking for a job, coming in second doesn’t get you paid.

I’M BORED. And not just because I’m poor and jobless and I spend my days in the public library sneaking in food and beverages. (I often have the librarians chastise me for eating in the stacks).

I’m bored because I’m tired of living my life the way I’m currently living it.  Apply for Job. Wait for a response. Check my twitter and Google Reader. Repeat.

By the way, this is the last whiny post about how tired I am of being jobless and poor.  I’ll probably still write about the job search, but I promise not be so f-ing whiny. I’M tired of listening to me whine. I’ve got to gain perspective in my life. I need to redefine my goals. I need to seriously think about my life’s direction. I have to get myself together.

I always get excited when I stumble upon a really great person who seems to have taken live by the balls and SQUEEZED. I want to squeeze life by the balls.  I want to use my superpower, dammit.

I wanna DO something.

And then I think about all the things I could and, dammit, SHOULD be doing to fully start working for myself and then I come up with 5 billion reasons why I can’t do all the things I should be doing. And it’s stupid because I’ve done stuff that is way harder…. WTF is my problem?

Hence the “getting myself together” that I spoke of a few sentences ago.

Question 1. Why is it is so hard to move from “starting” to “doing”?

Maybe it’s time for an online to-do list, with you guys (yes, that means you) to keep me accountable, huh?

***

Everyone morning I look at my very beautiful Vision Board and I sigh. It makes me sad to even look at it.

Why? Because I remember the idealistic Monica that carefully and lovingly put the Vision Board together this Spring. (it’s so gosh darn PRETTY!!) And I remember the hot and sweaty Monica, who, this summer, after packing her car to move to Atlanta, scrambled to find a place for said vision board. (I didn’t want to wrinkle or, God forbid, tear any of it)

Now the vision board, my clothes, computer, and 20 books that I couldn’t live without are setting in Atlanta.  I’ve found a prominent place to display it where I can see it often through the day. But all I feel when I look at it is sadness. Not happiness, not joy, not hope, not even pride that I put together something so lovely. I feel sad. And Duped.

I was in a very hopeful state of mind when I put together my vision board. I thought about everything I wanted. (Yes, the words FABULOUS and FAMOUS can be found on my board.  Along with HEALTHY and SAFE and SUCCESSFUL, and my core values) I imagined my dream life ( not so farfetched that it’s unattainable) and I tacked it on my board. I put everything on it. The cities I want to live (no, Atlanta is not on it), the jobs I’ve really want it (and subsequently been rejected for), my business (that I’ve procrastinated starting) and my desire to rule to free world (what? I’ve been planning that one for YEARS)

Every day I look at my vision board with a heavy heart and I want to kick it and hit it and break it into a million little corkboard pieces. The GF says that I should calm down. I’ve only been here for a week, she says. It’s not my fault that all the jobs I’ve interviewed for don’t want to hire anyone until August, she says. Something good will happen, she says. Have a drink, she says.

We disagree on the point of the vison board. She says that the purpose of the vision board is to keep me focused on my goals.  I thought the vision board was to help me manifest my future. Which it ain’t doing.

Question 2. Who is right? Me or the GF?

Question 3. Why is it that everyone else can be optimistic about my future except me?

I had a conversation with my mother today.  She asked me how I was doing.  My new stock answer: Still poor and jobless.

I swear if she’d been in the room with me, she would have smacked me in the head and told me to snap out of it.

Instead, in her best “everything will be ok” voice, she proceeds to tell me that everything will work out. She reiterated the GF, that I’ve only been here for a week, that I’m smart and capable, that God wouldn’t put anything on me that I couldn’t handle.

Then she goes into her “you listen here, missy” voice and tells me that I am not to start doubting, I have to believe in myself. I can’t even use adverbs: maybe, probably, and hopefully can no longer be a part of my vocabulary. Over and over, using different words, she says

Something good is going to happen. I just know it.

I’m trying to believe mama, I’m trying.

Everyone must know something about me that I am currently unaware of.  For the past year I’ve had co-workers, professors, counselors, friends, mentors, Jenny, new people that I’ve met and the GF all tell me the same thing. 

Monica, you’re awesome and successful. 

Every time someone tells me that I’m going to be fine and I should stop worrying about not finding a job, part of me doesn’t believe them (even thought I really want to believe them). I’ve worked crazy hard over the past year. I’ve been networking my ass, applying for lots and lots of jobs, going on informational interviews, going to professional conferences, tweaking my resume, building a new website all working towards getting a fucking job. 

Unfortunately, I’m one among 100’s (I know, I harass HR managers) of new graduates, and older experienced displaced workers going after the same very limited job pool.  So my goal has changed, and I’m piecing together a couple of entrepreneurial ventures with my friends and classmates.  And I’m really excited about them.  But I’m rather scared shitless. 

When I tell folks about the consulting and the promotions and the party planning, they tend to get really excited. And the more excited they get the more scared I get. 

What if I fuck it up?  What if I’m not as awesome as everyone thinks I am? 

Tonight I finally asked the GF why she keeps telling me that I’m going to be fine.  She said the proof is in the pudding. Over and over, she said, she’s seen me make something out of nothing.  She’s seen me hustle.  

She said, 

I would trust you to make a great cake because I’ve seen you make cakes and I’ve tasted your cake in the past so I don’t worry about your capacity to make good cake in the future. 

I make good cake, huh? 

I giggled at her metaphors (all food related, since we’re dieting), but I think she’s on the money. 

I am a diva (which is the female version of a hustler).  I’m seriously not going to be left penniless, homeless and hungry. I have always had a plan.  And I bought a domain name just in case. I go through my school notes, and they are filled with business plans, and funding sources, and potential partners. And I built a beautiful vision board with all my goals on it, and you can’t go wrong with a vision board.  I’m thinking about tumblring my vision board so you guys can see. It’s SO awesome, and I love it. 

I’m still scared shitless, but I’m not letting my fear stop me from moving forward.  In fact, I think my fear propels me forward.  

When my mama says she’s praying and my bosses tell me I’m great, and I interview with managers who tell me that they wish they had the money to hire me (but they don’t and they can’t), and the GF tells me that she’s not riding my anxiety train…… 

I’m going to take a deep breath.  I’m going to smile.  I’m going to nod and agree with them.  Then I’m going to double time it with my business ventures so that I don’t let all these wonderful people down. 

How do you deal with fear and insecurity?

Check it: I looked into my crystal ball, and I saw that 2009 is going to be awesome (for all of us, but for me especially).

Last year, when I was myspace blogging, I made a big deal about the New Year and setting goals, not resolutions, and blah blah blah. Even this past fall, when the semester started, I took some time to set some goals. (Some of which I have done NOTHING about)

As I’m looking down the barrel to 2009, my brain starts ticking off stuff for the upcoming semester and the year. (Get a job, get my portfolio together, finish my thesis, prepare for a change, spend time with my friends and classmates, start my business, learn to swim, self-host this blog).

But my heart says, Oh, f*ck it. Can’t I just chill out and see what happens?

I’m not saying that goals suck and we shouldn’t make them (maybe I am???) What I mean is – If we really look deep within ourselves we know what the hell we need to do. Do we need to take the next step in our career? Step out on our own? Lose weight? Exercise? Eat healthily? Finally get our teeth cleaned?  Do we need to slow down? Spend more time with our loved ones? Concentrate on self-care? Get a life?

Whatever it is I (and you) need to do, WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!!!!!!! Duh, it’s probably staring us in the face.

My problem, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, isn’t knowing WHAT I need to do. It’s the doing of it that trips me up.  I get scared or anxious or doubtful or LAZY and I cop out.

And that is unacceptable.

So I’m not going to make a never ending list of new goals or resolutions or whatever you want to call them.

I’m just going to make one.

Do the things I know in my heart I need to do.

No matter how scared I get or how crazy it seems or what other people think.  Some things I just KNOW I’m supposed to do.

So this year, I’m just going to f*cking do what my scattered little brain wants and I’m not going to over think it.

And as I write these words my brain says, but wait, you need to plan, you need to think, you NEED to worry…. and I feel the old self-doubt and anxiety pitter pattering through my chest.

SO I take a deep breath and acknowledge that this sh!t ain’t gonna be easy. But it is necessary. Didn’t Tupac say, “I don’t want it if it’s that easy”?

Otherwise, what would be the point? I believe that is would almost be stupid to add “Complete MPA school” or “Get a job” to my 2009 goals.

Why?

Because those things are not OPTIONAL. They are GOING to happen. It’s a wrap.

But I haven’t always followed my heart (or exercised, for that matter). So I’m going to concentrate to those things that I have let fall by the way side. (ahem, me!!!)

(Aside: I heard somewhere that it takes a month to form a habit. So if I resolve to do the things I know I should, by February I should be good. )

So yeah, the crystal ball said it was going to be a super awesome year.  Can’t you feel it!!!?!?!?!?

Hello! Obama is going to be inaugurated, and W is headed back to Texas. That alone is a major achievement.

And

Recessions are hotbeds for innovation, so even though the economy is sh!t we need this time renew ourselves (like when the forest burns down, then it regrows as a more diverse ecosystem)

And

We get another year to grow and live up to our full potential; proving that we can be better than our former selves.

Yay for us!

Happy New Year, party people!

Tell me what your 2009 goals/resolutions are AND what are you most looking forward to in the OH NINE.

I’ve been reading The Secret (very, very slowly) and my girl at WorkLifeLove wrote a super post about accountability that motivated me to think about some goals that I want to accomplish.

A funny thing about being in school is that I think about things in terms of semesters. SO, I’m setting my Fall 08 goals. I’m sure I’ll have different ones for Spring 09 that I’ll have to talk about later.

Professional Goals

-Network like a fiend- I want to move away, to Denver, and everyone that I meet for the next few months will know it. I hate moving to new places without already having friends/colleagues/a job in the new location. So I am on a mission to meet and talk to as many people as I can set up my network; share my goals, see what happens.

-Work on my writing- I really want to publish (academically) so this semester I want to concentrate on academic research, improving my writing, sticking my samples in the faces of everyone I meet.

I am also constantly tweaking my subjects to that I’m writing about subjects that are relevant to practitioners, because I prefer to be published in a government magazine that administrators actually subscribe to and read, than an academic journal that no one has heard of. I bet I could get into a PhD program with published magazine articles.

-Find a job by December- I wrote about this yesterday, and I and the Universe had a few conversations about it but she (the Universe) is a forgetful lady so I’m going to continue to remind her about it a lot.

Health Goals

-Get on Mirena- I’m sick to death of my ovaries.

-Exercise everyday- Luckily I can take classes for free at Student Recreation. If I take a group fitness class (my favorite way to exercise) every day that I’m on campus, and walk/run at a local track on the days that I’m not on campus, I think I’ll get my cardio in. Also, I want to take at least one Pilates, Yoga, and Strength training class a week, to boost my metabolism, harden my bones, and all that good stuff.

-Learn to Swim- this probably won’t happen this Fall, but it will happen. I just have to find someone that I trust not to let me drown.

-Start seeing Doc Barnes- I missed my therapist this summer. I have to get back on my monthly schedule.

Money Goals

-Save money- However, I don’t want to arbitrarily save money. I love to travel, and I have a list of places I want to visit in the next few months, so I need to have the funds available to move and shake like I want to.

Personal Goals

-Be authentically me- I think I’m still figuring out what this means, but I’m working on it. Basically, there are some folks who really see me as I am and love me regardless, I should probably just join them.

-Stop caring about what others think- I live in fear of offending people. However, I’m beginning to revert to my natural state of saying what the hell ever I want. Doctor Suess said it best:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

-Dream big- I will not limit myself. I can do whatever I want. Because my mom and Jesus said I can, and I trust them.

-Follow-through- I have the horrible habit of not following through. I have to remember to and make a habit of keeping up with my contacts, responding to emails, calling people back, etc. Otherwise, I’ll be that chick that could have been great. And that would suck.

That’s all for now, folks. Updates to follow.

This week I am officially a 2^nd year MPA student and I have already made one important decision:

I AM GOING TO HAVE A FABULOUS JOB BY DECEMBER.

I made that decision a couple of weeks ago because I do not want to go gray (and I would) with worry if it’s February, April or God forbid, June(!!!!) and I’m still job-less. I want to have someone waiting on me. The Monday after I graduate on Mother’s Day 2009, I will finish packing my sh*t and will be shortly, getting the hell out of dodge. I gotta keep it moving.

Secondly, I have decided that I am not going to overwork myself this year. I am taking an overload of credits (16.5) and a crazy person would be thinking that each class would require its own separate term paper. Not so, sez your girl I haven’t even been to all my classes yet and I already think I have finagled some overlap. Not only with class term papers…. I’ve just about got all these d*mn term papers wrapped into my Master’s Thesis (capstone) which I am planning to have completely finished by January. I will be writing one paper and adding and deleting sections depending on which class it is for and what I am choosing to focus on.

Next semester, I will be taking fun electives like Family Policy, Social Entrepreneurship, Sustainable Enterprises, and this really cool class about the Creative Class and only one serious class (if I have anything to do with it) Capital Budgeting. And I’m just going to be chilling because I’M GOING TO HAVE A SUPER AWESOME JOB ALREADY LINED UP.

I am really excited about my classes so far. Today I had Economics, Housing Policy and Urban Revitalization. I was more engaged in class today (bouncing in my seat) than I was for the majority of my first year. These are the classes that I came back to school to take. These are the classes that will give me the skillset to be taken seriously as a twenty-something decision maker. At my fabu job that I mentioned earlier, I will be running sh*t. Please believe.

There was a little hiccup up on Monday when during 2^nd year orientation, the program director overloaded me with all the stuff that I have to complete before I am eligible to graduate (and I didn’t have a calendar!!!!) and I thought I was going to throw up. But that potential panic attack has been averted. I bought a monthly/weekly calendar yesterday (and most of my school supplies) at my neighborhood Office Depot. And I’ve started writing in due dates, and I will add in reminder dates so that I can stay on track.

Now I just have to start working…..and that fun begins on Friday.