Some time ago I got a free audio version of Seth Godin’s book Tribes. Yes, I know I’m a book behind. I’m a big fan of free and I haven’t found a free version of Linchpin and I haven’t won one on any of the giveaways I’ve entered over the past few months.  AND the GF says I have a problem and need to stop buying business books.  In fact, when we have dates in bookstores, she doesn’t let me play in the business/self-help section.  She says that I need to stop researching and start doing.  She’s right, but I’m comfortable researching. Research isn’t scary. Shipping is.

At least a year ago I got a hold of a link to Tribes, and I just started listening to it. Every morning for the past week or so, I listen to this book as I brush my teeth and get dressed before work. Every morning for 20 minutes I listen and I get so inspired that I go to work and write do work stuff.

Since I’m not allowed to read/buy self-help/business/entrepreneur books, I feed my habit with blogs and download free teleseminars. One of my favorite business/entrepreneur blogs is Naomi Dunford at IttyBiz. I join all her mailing lists; I stalk her blog and twitter. I’m constantly on the lookout for free Naomi stuff. I lust after her products. I think she’s a brilliant writer and a compelling salesperson.  In fact, I love her so much that I actually bought a relatively cheap  monthly subscription to her Speakeasy product. Even when I was jobless and almost homeless last year, I faithfully paid Naomi.  I’m not mad about it. I got a lot of value from it, even though I didn’t really actively participate that much.

So I trust Naomi, right? If she tells me something is good, I believe her.  When she recommended Ideaschema Idea Catalyst Kit, I jumped. Especially since I like Megan’s writing style and I like the idea of becoming an idea machine. I listened to Megan’s audio on walks after work and felt really inspired and would come home and write. I recommend this product. If you want to be an entrepreneur or creative and want to buy an info product, I suggest you buy this one. And this isn’t an affiliate link.

So when Naomi recommended Question the Rules, I took a look.  I’ve been reading Johnny Truant since The Economy is not Happening. and I think he’s hilarious and earnest. I’d listened to a Jam Session he did with Charlie Gilkey, and I liked that. So, I read Naomi’s recommendation, I checked out the product, and bought.

I don’t like it very much. Audio seminars generally follow a rhythm. You introduce the topic, outline what you want to talk about, talk about it, have some insights, summarize, and get off the phone. Not so with Question the Rules. The conversations sometimes kinda starts on topic, then they bumble from tangent to tangent.  Some of the conversations are extremely scattered, long-winded and pointless. Mostly, it seems like Johnny and Lee called some of their friends and had them talk about what they do.  The big revelation is that being an entrepreneur isn’t like having a 9-5 job. Well duh.

The best parts of the course? Sonia Simone and Chris Guillebeau.  And I could just read CopyBlogger and The Art of Non-Conformity to hear from them. Which I do.

So yeah. My suggestion is to skip the paid information products (especially this one) unless you’re looking for something that is very specific, like SEO, copywriting, how to launch or something that that.  Or you could just read Naomi or Dave Navarro.  If you are having issues with fear, or need some kind of support to help you change your lifestyle, you should be reading Jenny Blake or Havi Brooks.  If you need life coaching stuff, check out Jonathan Fields or Jenny Ferry.  They all have blogs that are awesome.

And if you want to listen to something on your ipod check out Audible’s self improvement section and just buy a business book.

My birth in 1981 leaves me on the edge. I’m on the cusp of the Gen X/Gen Y split.  Sociologically, I completely identify with Gen Y. I boomeranged. I’m happily not married. I’m a job hopper. I fit all the criteria.

You would think that I would jump for joy at the prospect of having hundreds of Gen Y blogger feeds delivered to my Google Reader every day. You would think that I would be able to identify with, and be encouraged, educated and inspired by the writings of my generational compatriots.

Then I go to Brazen Careerist, which no doubt has given me access to a bunch of, in some cases, underrated bloggers who I love, but sometimes I scan the titles and think, “It this it?”

This is the best and the brightest? These are who we “feature”, who we ask to guest post, who get best blogger awards?

Are Gen Y bloggers only allowed to talk about Gen Y, social media, the internet, marketing, and entrepreneurship?

Ya know, I love a REALLY GREAT post about any of those subjects, but the “Top 5 Ways to Hack Blah Blak Blah” and the “Gen Y is different because yak yak yak” has been done to death.

Seriously. It’s dead.

Unless you have something COMPLETELY new and different to share, stop writing about being a member of Gen Y, social media, HR, marketing, career planning, or any number of boring and/or overdone topics. But if you blog about these topics because it’s your passion or brand, or it’s what you do for work, or you want to get noticed by an industry insider,  for God’s sake, make it interesting for the rest of us.

How can you make your blog posts more interesting? Make me care.

Your life is interesting. Relationships are interesting. Building bridges is interesting.  Having a conversation is interesting. Telling a great story is interesting. Making a difference is interesting. Exposing stupidity is interesting.  Overcoming is interesting. Making me jealous is interesting. Being inspiring is interesting. Being funny is interesting.

For goodness sakes, if you are going to write for the web, say something meaningful. Compel me to subscribe to you.  Be fucking interesting.

For example, the GF and I gave me six months to write my business plan. And I really should have a business plan as I start to build relationships with commercial developers in the city. And I have found several organizations that give grants to people who do some of the things that I want to do, but to apply for these grants, you need a business plan.  So I’ve taken some time to start working on my business plan.  Since it’s going to take a significant block of time, it needs to be added to the goals list.

Also, another unspoken goal that I’ve been working on has been writing. There had been a couple of catalysts over the past weeks that have spurred me to start writing more.  A) I’ve read a couple of books with some of the most beautiful contemporary prose, which inspires me to write and B) I’ve just finished a book for my book club that is HORRIBLE. I truly believe that if this author can be published, then dammit, so can I. So I started writing.  And since being a writer is one of my long term goals, practicing should be on my list of short-term goals.

Otherwise, here is the breakdown of how I’ve met my goals this month.

The five most important things in my life

1. Meeting new people and Making friends
2. Getting my bills settled
3. Learning my new environment
4. Building my brand
5. Being a better friend, partner and family member

What I’ve done so far to work these:

I attended my book club meeting. Even though I wasn’t impressed with the book, I have a great time with these ladies, so make an effort to attend book club events and respond to emails.  I could really be friends with these ladies.

I have been working on my budgeting skills with the help of J. Money’s templates and this month has been way better than August! I made it through the whole month without over-drafting my checking account and I’m below my limits on my credit cards. Woo-hoo!

I’ve talked to @Norcross about working on my website. He’s awesome. But I’m slow, so this is definitely a work in progress and it will likely take me a couple more months to get it all settled and done.

I’ve spent lots of time with my sister. We attended the Atlanta Arts Festival together, we went to Wal-Mart together, and I’ve gone with her to church a couple of times. We’ve both done a much better job of calling and texting each other more often.  I talk to my mom at least twice a week, so I think I’m doing a good job there. I haven’t done as great a job with the weekly emailing of my brother. I have emailed him a couple of times, and I haven’t gotten a response. Maybe I should send him a care package and a real letter

September has been a really good month for my relationship. Does that mean I got better at communicating? I don’t know. But whatever I did, I hope I can maintain it.

And all that other stuff I said I wanted to do?

1.  Calling and/or emailing my friends in NC at least once a week. I’ve gotten out of touch with my MPA family

Done. I have called, texted, or emailed someone from NC at least once a week. Completing this goal has made me feel so good. It is definitely something I want to keep doing.

2.Watch how much money I spend at the grocery store. (I tend to go a bit overboard.)

Done. Having a budget in place and going to the grocery with a list made this goal a lot easier.

3. I need to (a.) join (b.) go to (5x wkly) a gym; working out outside isn’t working for me.

Mostly done. Within the first week of September I joined a gym. While I may not have gone 5x a week, I have totally gone 3-4 times a week! And I supplemented those gym visits with off-day walks in my “neighborhood”. I can already fit into a pair of jeans that were fitting rather snuggly (and not in a good way). YAY me!

AND I’m writing grants for a non-profit that is affiliated with the gym so I got a FREE membership! Double YAY!

4.  Call my mom and sister twice a week, send my brother one email a week.  Send text messages to friends when I think of them.

Totally DONE!

5.  Build a marketing campaign for Cosmopolitan Urbanist (and find a web designer)

Not so much. But I did talk to Norcross

6.  Attend more meet-up events

Not even. But it rained for almost 16 days straight. I didn’t do many activities that made me go outside. I will do better in October.

7.  Contact local commercial developers.

I contacted one and didn’t get a response back. I found a couple more that I want to check out.

8.  Show my emotions.

Maybe. I’ve been in a pretty good mood lately, so I think so.

9.  I think I’ve found the organization that I’d like to work with next, so now I have to bring myself to their attention. I’m going to attend their September board meeting, and say something useful while I’m there.

The first week in September I got an email from this organization asking me to volunteer on a project. So I didn’t have to bring myself to their attention. They were already thinking of me

10.  (Carried over from last month) Get a map of the interior of I-285 and explore different Atlanta neighborhoods, by car.

I haven’t gotten a map, but I have traveled to some neighborhoods that I’m unfamiliar with. So, I’m giving myself a pass here.

I’m posting my October Goals tomorrow. Look Out!

Wanna hear it? Here it go!

So I’ve moved all my stuff and have been living with the GF since the end of June.  At first, I had a hellacious transition period because I moved with to Atlanta with no job and all my job leads were in California.  Initially, my plan was to keep looking for permanent employment in Cali, and get something short term (waiting tables) in the meantime.

Well, sometimes life has other plans. After just a few short weeks of looking, I landed a great job in Atlanta.  Of course, while I was job searching and mooching off the GF, my only two priorities were 1. Find a job so that I could be a contributing member of the household 2. Don’t drive the GF bonkers.

Once I got the job all squared away, and I started believing the GF when she said she wasn’t going to kick me out, I started to relax and think about life in the A. Since I’m going to be in Atlanta, I don’t want to be miserable.  I needed to get a life (and the GF strongly agreed).

So, in typical Monica-style I made myself a list, a “How to get a life” list if you will, of goals and stuck them on the vision board.  They are in order of importance and the go a little something like this:

Five things I need to work on

1. Meeting new people and Making friends
2. Getting my bills settled
3. Learning my new environment
4. Building my brand
5. Being a better friend, partner and family member

What I’ve done so far:

1. I have joined several meet-up groups and have gone to one of the events.  I have also joined a book club, and I foresee a lot of involvement there.  I have contacted a few local branches of my sorority, in hopes of becoming more active there.
2. I have created a budget and a mint.com account (thanks, Jenny Blake). I’ve called all my creditors about why I didn’t pay them all summer, and I’ve set up payment plans to get me back on track.
3. This is supposed to me be exploring Atlanta neighborhoods by myself without the GF’s GPS, but some Atlanta neighborhoods are scary and I shouldn’t be in them by myself. I’m tabling this til next month.
4. 4. I have had one meeting with a guy that could potentially build my website, but he’s not used to wordpress and I want to keep a wordpress framework, so it probably won’t work between us.  Anyone know any good (inexpensive) web designers?
5. 5. This will be an on-going goal.   My sister lives in Atlanta and I want to make sure I spend time with her. My mom gets lonely back home, and I need to keep good communication with her.  My brother, bless his heart, has finally joined the 21^st century and has email, so I want to write to him more often.  I want to keep in contact with my NC peeps, ‘cause I love and miss them. And I need to more honestly communicate in my relationship with the GF.  I can check that I have been doing all these things in August.

Next Month

1. Calling and/or emailing my friends in NC at least once a week. I’ve gotten out of touch with my MPA family
2. Watch how much money I spend at the grocery store. (I tend to go a bit overboard.)
3. I need to (a.) join (b.) go to (5x wkly) a gym; working out outside isn’t working for me.
4. Call my mom and sister twice a week, send my brother one email a week.  Send text messages to friends when I think of them.
5. Build a marketing campaign for Cosmopolitan Urbanist (and find a web designer)
6. Attend more meet-up events
7. Contact local commercial developers.
8. Show my emotions.
9. I think I’ve found the organization that I’d like to work with next, so now I have to bring myself to their attention. I’m going to attend their September board meeting, and say something useful while I’m there.
10. (Carried over from last month) Get a map of the interior of I-285 and explore different Atlanta neighborhoods, by car.

Wow. This is a lot of goals.  But since they are (mostly) things I was going to do anyway, I think I’m ok.

The first thing I opened was a brazen message from Ryan Paugh asking members to write a post about our #brazenblogcrush.  I briefly thought about doing it and decided that if I DID write a post about my brazen blog crush, it would have to be about the funniest married lady on the planet; my dear friend, Marie at McKinney-Oates Cereal.  I have been crushing MADLY on this woman since Rebecca at Modite linked to her a few months ago.

I was immediately sucked into her hilarious stories about her family and her husband.  After about a week, I had to find her on twitter and facebook and every other social media platform. (I mean, how else am I supposed to stalk her, if I can’t find her EVERYWHERE)

Her’s is THE ONLY blog that I comment on, and then check back later to see if she replied to my comment. Her’s is one of the few blogs that I read every post and comment on if I SQUEEZE out any bit of relevance.  And sometimes I comment just to say I love her and I think she’s funny. Cause I do.

Then the second piece of email that I opened this morning was a pingback from my website.  Since I rarely get linked to, I had to immediately see what this was all about.  Lo and behold, my buddy has already written her blog crush blog about me.  I was am flattered and humbled.

And then I thought, I can’t possibly write my blog crush about her now!!! Then I look like an obvious brown-noser (which I am, but I don’t want to look like it).

I had to pick someone else.

So I picked my new blog crush; Alex at Social Butterfly.

Apparently, I’ve been following Social Butterfly for a while.  But for some reason, after the initial site perusal, I never made it back over.  Then a couple of weeks ago, again while trying to stay on task at work, I succumbed to my Google reader.  I realized that it had been a while since I culled my feeds, so I started deleting blogs that are either boring, irrelevant to my life, or haven’t posted in a while.

I clicked on Social Butterfly to see what it was, (yes, it had been that long), and read a couple of her posts.  Then I read a couple more.  And a couple more.  Then I started clicking on the links in her posts.  The title for one of her posts is now on my vision board and is the title for a post I’m working on for CU.  And it made me rethink my thoughts on career/relationship balance.

After about an hour, I sat back in wonder.  I was already in love.  Actually I don’t know if I love her, or just want to be her.  As I read through her stuff,  I was getting more and more impressed (and more and more excited).  After I read all her new posts, I went back and read some of her older stuff.

This girl is brilliant.

Her writing is so passionate and professional and engaging.  She writes about social change the way I want to write about community development.  She’s a writer that inspires me as a writer.  So, duh, she didn’t get culled from my reader.  She got bumped from the “career” folder to the “read every day” folder with Marie and about 4 other blogs.

Yep, she’s that good.

Go check me out and leave a comment!

I am feeling rather high on life right now.

In an interest to keep the goodness rolling, I am joining a group whose purpose is to help boost traffic on lesser-known blogs.

Fellow bloggers, check it out.  Everyone else, I’m so glad you’ve decided to come play with me

I have some articles in the works. Stay tuned!

My gf, who has, as one of her most admirable attributes, an undying willingness to support her people*, has been sending me links to urban** bloggers.

*Her people typically consists of lesbians (especially Black lesbians) and educated, creative black people

** I use urban as a code word for black since one of my white friends hates when I do that.

Anyway, one of the blogs, Very Smart Brothas, seems to be written by black men that I would simultaneously be attracted to and afraid of (now is not the time to talk about this).

Since adding VSB to my blog reader, L (white friend from above) and I love to read and discuss whatever the brothas are talking about daily.

This post, particularly struck my fancy because, according to this list, and a day long conversation with L at work, I am seriously might be a pretentious piece of sh*t (PPoS). And you know what? I AM OK WITH THAT.

Why don’t I care, you ask?

I’m not a PPoS because I put people down to feel good about myself. I’m not a PPoS because I think I’m somehow better than the average person I know that I am a work in progress and I have quite a bit of work left to do.

(If) I’m a PPoS because I believe that people (all people who were not raised in a cave in West Virginia) should know how to act in public. I just expect more from folks. I get disappointed and frustrated when people do ignorant, nonsensical annoying sh*t. L, gf and I have gleefully been cataloguing all day all the reasons for my possible PPoS status.

• I will not respond to a man or worse a woman!!! that greets me with “Hey Shawty” or some other obnoxious slang or facial expression that objectifies me or otherwise treats me like a piece of meat.
• I expect people to know how to dress, eat, drink, act in social situations and if not, then they should ask someone. (there is nothing wrong with calling ahead and asking about appropriate attire)
• I will always roll my eyes at the dude making eyes at me while wearing a bright lime green Patron jacket*** when he knows that Patron ain’t paying him to wear it and he had no affiliation with the brand. This also applies to other articles of clothing with large, obnoxious labels.

***this happened to me this morning!!!!!

• I know (and so should everyone else) that there is a difference in what is appropriate behavior when entering a place of business, especially when looking for a job (speak in your best English (no “ebonics” or “redneck”, thanks), stand up straight, and be respectful) and what is appropriate at the house.

• I believe a cell phone ringtone should sound like a phone ringing and should not be a substitute for a boom box on the f*cking MARTA train.

• I know that if I hold my cell phone up to my ear and talk, the person that I’m talking to can hear me. I don’t have to change the position of the phone like a walkie-talkie and I don’t have to scream. And neither do you!

• If you can have a house full of kids (or just one, for that matter) you damn well better be able to control those bastards in public. Or I will give you the evil eye and talk smack about your parenting skills.

• If you are in the m-f-ing fast lane on an interstate with 4 or more lane you risk getting hit in the @ss if you aren’t going at least 80 mph. And don’t be mad at me when I pass you on the right and give you the finger.

After reading this list, I’m thinking that perhaps I’m not a PPoS. Maybe I’m just an uppity, elitist @sshole snob or maybe I just hate most people. Who knows?

And like I said on the VSB site

The Black Tina Fey (ahem, me) loves herself some McD’s $1 hot fudge sundaes, and I hate, hate, hate Atlanta and can’t wait to go home to NC, so I can’t be that much of a PPoS, can I?

But if you think that I am a PPoS, I don’t care because that either means that you know that you are guilty of doing that ignorant crap and have now been put in your place or you have been overwhelmed because you are just realizing that IT IS NOT OK to behave in any manner chronicled in this post.

If I missed anything in my list, leave it in the comments.

I hated stupid AOL, chat rooms, Black Planet and all the other race-specific sites. Like I’ve said before, I suck at small talk and chat rooms and suck were made for talking about stupid sh*t, and having sex (or pretending to have sex). I hated it, I’d have rather been out talking to real people (but all the real people were in their f-ing dorm rooms chatting on AOL. I barely used AOL, I only forayed into chatrooms only once or twice, and I thought Black Planet was for unattractive losers who were looking to have sex with college girls. On the other hand, I loved search engines; yahoo and msn and whatever others we were using in 1999. I remember me and my college girlfriends stalking boys online, but I don’t remember how ?????

I resisted technology; I thought it was stupid (mainly because I couldn’t understand it) So I came late to 21th Century Internet technology. Other than email, Google search, and Mapquest, I don’t remember using the Internet very much until about 3-4 years ago. Even then, it was still just email, reading news online and yahoo games.

Well, the last year or two has been a learning experience for me. I’ve finally fallen for technology. I am an igoogle bandit…. my homepage is the bomb! It’s crazy how much google has infiltrated everything I do, from email, to academic research, to directions, to bookmarking sites that I love, to giving me cool new blogs to read every day.

Myspace, which I thought was for kids to find sex and drugs, actually turned into the beginning of my creative resurgence and a good way to reconnect with old friends and remind all my current friends of why I’m so cool. Then there’s Facebook, for all the intellectuals that are too good for Myspace, lol.

I’m mostly loyal to myspace, for creative purposes, but Facebook has its highlights, like the fact that I can post news articles that I find inspiring, amusing, disgusting or downright despicable. On Facebook, I can see what books others are reading (yes, nerdy, I know). But it’s fun and I’m finding really interesting people and staying more connected to my friends that have spread to the four corners.

What has made the biggest impact on me in regards to technology is how it has made my world so much smaller (or bigger, whatever). I have blogger “friends” in Canada and Australia. I comment on the lives and stories of others in Madison and Corpus Christi and NYC. How cool is that? I’m learning about what’s happening in different career fields, and I’m seriously, actively thinking of ways to start that non-profit or consulting firm. I’m learning how to save money, I’m learning to take risks and how to stay focused at work. I get tips on losing weight and eating more healthily. I’m getting encouragement from people who have been where I am (emotionally and mentally), people who have had my fears, fought through them, survived and lived to kick my ass out of my comfort zone.

AND through the use of technology, I have embraced my creativity. 2 years ago I would NEVER have called myself creative. I’m rational and logical; I work in GOVERNMENT, for goodness sakes! I’m not at all artistic and colorful so I couldn’t possibly be creative. (My own unfortunate stereotypes) I’ve learned that creativity comes in many different packages and even though I paint like a 5 year old, my ability to think out of the box and come up with cool ideas and solve problems still counts as creativity. (And I don’t suck too badly as a writer , and that counts too!)

And all this from the person who didn’t own her own computer until last year…. and had to ask my 16 year old sister for Myspace tips. Ya’ll just wait until I get this all figured out