Life in the Middle Lane

AKA: In which I consider whether college is a waste of time (and rant just a little bit)

Some people, I’m sure, slide out of their mother’s womb knowing what they want to be when they grow up.  Others, likewise, by age 3 or 4 have discovered a talent that has family members nodding and saying, “that child is destined to be a musician or an artist or a pro sports player or a stoner.” Maybe a few of us made the decision at 10 or 12 to be a doctor or lawyer or a business women that wears suits and high heels and makeup and tells people what to do.

What? Don’t  judge me! I wanted to be all those things.

My logic went a little like this: A. I’m smart B. Doctors are smart C. Doctors make a lot of money D. I want to make a lot of money. Conclusion: I’ll become a doctor.  That is, until I slashed my finger open one day while making lunch for my siblings, and nearly swooned at the sight of my own blood. Being a doctor was CLEARLY out.

I immediately latched on to another, slightly more realistic dream. Again, my logic  A. I have the gift of gab and I love to argue. B. Lawyers talk a lot and have to argue cases. C. Lawyers make a lot of money D. I want to make a lot of money. Conclusion: I’ll be a lawyer. I stuck with that dream until I clerked for a DA during an internship, and a judge for another. I just couldn’t come to terms with maybe accidentally one day sending an innocent person to jail. And civil law literally put me to sleep. Yes, Me asleep, snoring and drooling in the courtroom.

Maybe you, like me got all the way to high school without really knowing what you wanted to do with your life. Maybe you found it hard to conceptualize how to transform a love or skill in writing, or reading, chemistry, history or trigonometry or art into a career.  Especially when one is smart.

When one is smart, one goes to college, period. (At least that’s what “they” say.)

Maybe you aren’t “smart” so you didn’t go to college.  You stay at home and work at the grocery store, or the mall, or maybe you get a job working for your mother’s friend’s dad. Or maybe you have a skill that you’ve picked up over the years that people will pay you for. Or you join the military.

For a second, let’s imagine that you took your smart self to college the way I did. Still not knowing what you wanted to do with your life.

Maybe you, like me, pick a major because it sounds good to the parents. International Business/French, anyone? That is, until you actually get in a French class and BOMB it. Or maybe you select Political Science because you can always decide to go to law school later, right? Until you realize that Poli Sci is just as boring as that civil law internship. Or organic chemistry forces you to reconsider that pre-med major.

Maybe you are an artist or a writer at heart, but “everyone” knows that majoring in Art or Design or Creative Writing or English won’t make you rich.

Maybe you follow your heart and major in English anyway.

Or maybe you discover that you really like some other discipline like Sociology, History, Anthropology or Theology. You decide to major in that and see how it goes.

Or maybe you learned to turn that love of parabolas into a major in Economics. Which later turns into a job in a think tank, or a finance agency or some other economics place.

Maybe you really, really, really are going to be a doctor, lawyer or PhD of something and this BA is just step one. You slosh through, learning the basics, marching steadily towards your destiny.

Then

You graduate, still not knowing what you want to do. You get a job as a teacher or in a bank or as someone’s assistant. And you whine and complain and are miserable. Or Not.

Or

You write your book of short stories, poetry, or the next American novel.  Maybe you hole yourself up in your apartment (or your parents’ basement) and paint your heart out. Riches and Fame ensue. Or not.

Or

College helped you figure out what you are good at.  Maybe it’s leading a group, maybe it’s facilitation, maybe it’s bringing out the best in people—things you would never of found on your own.  Maybe you really want to make the world a better place. You still don’t know how to turn those skills/desires into a career, but you’ve got a start. And you did leave college with some transferable skills and a degree. For some jobs, that piece of paper is enough to get your foot in the door. For a while, you work doing something you kinda hate, getting “valuable” experience (and growing your bank account, hopefully) biding your time before you break out of your cube and do something that you really enjoy.

Or maybe you just say fuck it, and leave college Kanye West style. You discover the internet, and decide to be a marketing guru. Or you learn HTML and become a web designer. Or you self-study something else and find that you’re good at XYZ and convince someone to pay you to do that without a degree. Or you go home and get a job at the mall, grocery store or with your brother’s girlfriend’s mom. Or you go to technical school and become a car mechanic or a plumber.  Or you join the military.

Or you go study abroad in France because you are DETERMINED to learn French. You like it there and NEVER COME BACK. Wine and baguettes, anyone?

Maybe college isn’t right for you. Maybe it is.

Maybe college is the place that focuses you so that you can figure out how to transform your talents/skills into a career.

Maybe college is the lightbulb that illuminated quickly and clearly what you’re life’s path is.

Maybe college is just another 3-5 years of school, and at the end you graduate still completely clueless. Or you graduate, knowing you’ve got 8+ more years of schooling ahead of you.

You know what?  You get to CHOOSE.

You can choose to go to college or not.

You can choose make a successful life for yourself with or without a degree. Or not. [And you CAN be successful without a degree.]

If you go to college- you can choose to major in something that makes lots of money or not. And may or may not make you miserable.

If you go to college- you can choose to major in a liberal art that doesn’t immediately translate into big bucks or not.

You can graduate and end up in a dead end job or unemployed or not.

You can graduate and do that THING that will make your life worth living. Or not.

You can graduate and continue to figure out what you want to do with your life.

You can graduate, get a job, follow the rules and have a stable traditional career. Or get laid off. Or not.

You can be whiny, complain-y, entitled, and bored, all while you sit on your ass.  All while you do ANY of the other things above.

Or not.

You CHOOSE.

College isn’t the Matrix. Choosing the red or green pill won’t change your life like magic (in most cases). But YOU can change your life like magic. So don’t blame college. Don’t blame your parents. Don’t blame your weed-head roommate. If you didn’t get what you wanted out of college, blame yourself. Clearly you didn’t make the right decision

So now you work your ass off, using what you’ve got. There’s still time for fame, riches and success.