Life in the Middle Lane

I swam 75 meters on Tuesday.  To all my swimmer friends, I know this isn’t a lot.

In fact it’s only three-fourths of a lap.  And I didn’t swim it all at once. I’d get 25 meters out in the pool and get water up my nose and have to stop. And what I do in the pool, of course, isn’t Michael Phelps quality swimming. This is doggy paddling, at best.

Yet I am EMENSELY proud of myself.  You see, two weeks ago I couldn’t even kick the length of the pool with a kickboard without stopping to make sure I hadn’t drowned. And I couldn’t kick straight to save my life.

By the end of my first lesson I could swim for about 15seconds before I freaked out.

Now I’m big time.

And I’m telling everyone I know.  And usually once people get over their shock and awe that at 27 I’m learning how to swim, everyone asks me what it’s like to be in the water.

And almost without fail my answer is that I’m still learning to move with the water and stop fighting against it.

I’m jealous that I’m splashing around uncontrollably, looking like a crazy person and all the cool swimmers are cutting gracefully and easily through the water.  Apparently, it is possible to go with the flow.

But for a self-proclaimed control freak like me, going with the flow is f-ing hard.

In the water and out.

Water doesn’t do what I say. I can’t control the water; it doesn’t bend to my will.  And neither does life.

While I do have some control over my life (supposedly), I can’t stop life from happening any more than I can stop water from going up my nose.

On Tuesday as I was walking away from the pool, I started thinking about other ways that swimming (or learning to swim) is like life.

Here are 7 things that I have learned about life while I’ve been half-drowning in the pool.

1. Fear keeps you from dying but you can’t let it stop you from diving. I haven’t actually dived into the pool, but every time my swim teacher tells me to glide through the water without the safety of a noodle a part of me freaks out. I start breathing funny and my heart speeds up. I have to calm myself down before I can even start swimming.  I may not ever be 100% comfortable in the water, but I’m not going to let that stop me from doing what I want to do.

In life, I may find myself in uncomfortable, awkward or scary situations but I can’t let my fear stop me from doing what I need to do to be successful or happy.

2. Don’t be afraid to use the wall. In the pool, my swim teacher tells me to kick off the wall to give myself some momentum before I start kicking. Pushing off the wall gives you some power to move through the water faster. I don’t necessarily HAVE to push off the wall start swimming, but when I do, I move farther faster.

This reminds me of the importance of networking.  As I look for a post-graduation job, I tell everyone where I’m looking and what I’m looking for. Everyone I know knows someone else who could hook me up with the right person to get me a job. I could find a job without my network, but if I use my network, I’ll have a leg up on finding the right position for me.

3. Don’t mind the other swimmers. There are only 6 or 8 lanes at the pool at school. In order to accommodate all the swimmers, we have to circle swim.  To circle swim, you swim on the right side of the lane and swim counter-clockwise around the lane. The times that I have had to circle swim, I’ve had to share a lane with 2-3 other people. And as a newbie, I’m slow. Really slow. With circle swimming, if a swimmer is slow, it’s ok to pass on the left (like on the interstate).  I get passed often.  And I have to remember that I’m new at swimming and I’m not perfect. And more importantly, I may NEVER be a perfect swimmer. And I’m ok with that (usually).

I have to do the best I can in all my endeavors, and on some days my best may not be that great. At any rate, I HAVE to cut myself some slack. I’m not perfect, none of us are. Those brilliant swimmers in the pool may not be great at something that I kick ass in. So it’s ok that they swim circles around me, I just have to keep kicking, and doing MY best.

4. Keep Kicking. In the pool, I push off the wall with one foot and propel myself through the water. Soon, if I don’t do anything, I’ll start to go underwater, and that is bad.  So it only took me sinking a couple of times to figure out that if I wanted NOT to sink, I needed to kick. And as long as I keep kicking I’ll keep moving and I won’t drown. And not drowning is the goal.

The same is true in life. Standing still makes you stagnant and doesn’t get you anywhere. As Dorie told us in Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming” If you keep moving you’ll get to where you need to go.

5. Shit happens. I get water up my nose. I get cramps in my legs. I fall off my noodle. I haven’t mastered the breast stroke kick and move backward instead of forward (it’s very complicated). I sink (often). And whenever these horrible things happen to me, I clear my ears and nose, catch my balance, breathe and try it again.

Bad stuff happens sometimes. No need to ponder it, no need to overanalyze it. The best thing to do is figure out how to make sure it doesn’t happen a second time, try it again and do it better the next time.

6. Swimming is hard. Swimming is hard because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but it is also hard because it takes your entire body to do it. Your legs are kicking, your arms are paddling, your core is holding you up, and you’re trying to breathe and not die.  Swimming is serious work!

Life can be hard too. We pour ourselves into our work, our relationships, and our families and sometimes it seems that we are barely making it. Sometimes we fall behind or are unable to keep our heads up.  But at the end of the day, when we think about what we’ve accomplished, (hopefully) it’s all worth it. Just like when I look back at the wall from 25 meters out and see how far I went all by myself, I can’t help but clap for myself and scream yay!

7. Swim teachers are the best. I’m scared to go doggy paddling alone. Most of the stuff that I do with my teacher; I would be crazy to do by myself. I allow myself to take more risks (and do things like launch myself through the water) because I trust the person who’s out there with me. She’s always close. And during those times when she makes me do something really scary, like float on my back, she reminds me that she’s right there. So I relax a little and I float! And she’s really great at telling me what an awesome job I’m doing.

Friends and loved ones rock. You can lean on them when you’re not strong. They’ll help you carry on. I live my life easier knowing that if I’m having a problem, am hungry, need someone to make me laugh or to help me carry a humongous TV into my  house, or if I just need someone to remind me of how awesome I am, I have a whole host of people to call and lean on.