My name is Monica and I am a complainer. I’m also a worrier. And a cynic. I have very little faith (in anything). And I can get really anxious (I think I get worked up with all the worrying.)

For almost a year now, I have been trying to counteract my tendencies and put a little good ju-ju into the atmosphere. Because if The Secret is right, then I’m attracting tons of negativity.  And that’s bad.

At least 3 nights a week I try to make a list of all the things I’m thankful for.

My thankful list is generally kind of random.  When my brother was in Iraq (twice!!) my thankful list consisted of 1. Being thankful that a member of the Army didn’t show up at our door with bad news. 2.  Being thankful that my brother would wake us up in the middle of the night with a phone call from the other side of the world.

Nowadays, I’m just thankful when I can find a parking place. Or that when I cut all my hair off I still look like a girl.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been adding another layer to my little ritual.  I’ve been asking for things that I need.  I’m not sure what I expect, but supposedly, when you put good stuff into the Universe, you get good stuff back.  We get not because we ask not, and all that jazz.

We’ll see.

So, I’m going to share with you, some things that I am thankful for.  And the gifts (or blessings, whatever) that I’m asking for.

1. I am thankful that my baby sister is enjoying school and life in Atlanta.
2. I’m thankful that my brother is still in the States, and not in the Middle East.
3. I’m thankful for my relationship with the gf.  It (she) has taught/helped me to rediscover some things about myself that I either denied, forgotten, or was unaware of.
4. I am thankful that my mother calls me almost everyday because she wants to know how I’m doing and she just wants to chat.
5. I am thankful that my friend, R, is finally taking care of herself and putting herself first in her own life.
6. I am thankful for friends.  Not too long ago, I felt really alone.  I don’t anymore.
7. I am thankful that I’m in grad school.  3 years ago I worried that no respectable program would have me.  But I’m in one of the top 6 programs in the country. Go figure!
8. I’m thankful for positive role models (especially relationship role models)
9. I’m thankful for the beauty, the rhyme, rhythm and the symmetry that I find in nature and in life every day.
10. I’m thankful for the passion that I feel inside myself.  It still surprises me sometimes.
11. I’m thankful for my super awesome job and totally cool boss, and my groovy co-workers who invite me to parties
12. I’m thankful for my classmate, aka, drinking buddies.  They rock my world.

And one to grow on: (I will not number it 13). I’m thankful for my little Toyota Corolla that gets 30 MPG and takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’

Now for the things that I ask for….

1. I ask for the strength to do all the things that life demands (waking up, speaking up, being present)
2. I ask for guidance to know where and on what I should focus my time
3. I ask for the courage to be the person I know I am.
4. I ask for confidence in myself-I need to trust my intuition
5. I ask for the right words at the right time
6. I ask for help getting through the next two hellacious weeks of school
7. I ask for my dream job
8. I ask for health and safety for my family and friends
9. I ask for the ability to not be constantly distracted by everything
10. I ask for focus
11. I ask that it doesn’t rain while I’m walking outside.
12. I ask that I don’t hit/get hit while in a car or walking on the street.

What are you thankful for?  What would you like a bit more of?