Life in the Middle Lane

As my summer internship is coming to a close, the gf and I have been talking a bit about what we are going to do after I graduate from my super awesome MPA program.

We’ve talked about staying in Atlanta. I vetoed that because I hate the traffic, hate the sprawl, hate the rampant poverty, hate the politics (I could go on). We talked about staying in North Carolina, where she could finish some course work and I could work in a place where I have already established a network. She vetoed that because she’s already lived in NC for 10 and wants to try something else, and she also made a good argument about me moving beyond my comfort zone. So, bottom line, we are moving somewhere completely new.

I have been building a list of “places to live” for a while, and amazingly so has the gf. And even more amazingly, we have a number of cities in common. So the places that we are currently looking at for next year are Denver, Colorado and Tempe, Arizona.

The gf, who is a bit more “control” than I am, asked me last week if I had started looking for jobs, to which I replied that no, I hadn’t started looking at jobs (I’m not moving until next year!!! I have some time yet.) I was able to report that I had started researching the different organizations in the city to see if any interest me. Actually, I started looking at a number of cities as early as last August to see the different kinds of downtown planning they were engaging in.

That’s when the gf said something that I’d never thought of. She said that by looking at the job market now, I could start preparing for what will be on the market next year.

In her care, it totally makes sense. Her field is Educational Technology, which is still so new of a field that she sometimes has to explain to potential employers that they need someone with her skills. So if there are organizations in Denver and Tempe that already understand that they need someone with her particular skill set, then she already has a leg up.

In my case, I’m not so sure that canvassing the job market now will give me any indication of what will be available because local governments don’t really recruit on CareerBuilder. They usually recruit on their own sites and on government specific job sites. I can put myself in a better position by making friends with government headhunters or with local government managers in the area or that already work in organizations that interest me. It makes more sense for me to tell them that I’m interested in moving and working in Denver/Tempe/wherever and beg them to keep me (and my resume) in mind. (I’m already starting to work on strengthening my network in the mid and southwest)

We did have a giggle at my ability to get jobs just by expressing interest and asking for an informational interview. So often when talking to potential employers, I start by saying, I’m Monica. I’m an MPA student at UNC and I’m interesting in learning more about what you do. Can I come by and talk to you? During the interview, if I like what I hear, I give them my pitch. I tell them how I can help them with whatever problem/issue/new development they are having. I’ve gotten at least two of my last jobs that way

And even if having informational interviews doesn’t get me a job, it still gives me one more person to add to my network.

I was just reading this article about blueberries, and one of the last lines struck a nerve with me.

What the hell am I leaving for the next person? I think that’s one (of many) things that worries, disturbs, bothers, and annoys me about my life. What good am I?

I believe that everything we do has an effect, and we can chose the mark we want to leave on the world. I want my life to do some good, like the witches in A Wrinkle in Time. I want to use my life and talents to help put out some of the darkness in the world. But I’m not quite sure how yet…..and it is so frustrating.

I feel like I need to focus, but on what exactly? I am constantly learning something new that just opens up more opportunity. I thought grad school would help me focus and narrow my scope in a way that Philosophy did not. But I’m finding myself with the same problem. One the one hand I am interested in a lot of stuff. On the other hand, I know how I work best. I need to feel useful, I need to contribute, I have a short attention span, and I hate details.

Right now, I’m having an issue with too many choices. I like writing, I like to travel, I like cities and thinking about ways to make them better. I’m interested in creating livable, sustainable communities. I understand the importance of people power, and the importance of place. I’ve been recently converted, and am now a believer in using technology as a way to communication and engage disparate groups of people.

And I think to myself, ok self, now what?

Should I focus? Should I let my overactive imagination continue to run wild? Do I need to talk to a career coach? Or should I shut up and let my life unfold? I’m a type A, control type person so going with the flow makes me want to have a heart attack.

So I’ll ask you, NOW WHAT?

How do you get from wanting to change the world to actually doing it?

I suck at math (unless its money), I suck at science (not really, but it bores the crap out of me), I suck at computer stuff (at least once a day I groan about something excel has done to make my life miserable). In spite of all these things, I have hope. One reason I have hope is because I have read Daniel Pink’s A Whole New Mind (AWNM). (Was that sentence a marketer’s wet dream or what? hee-hee)

I took notes while I was reading it, and while I was transcribing them on my computer, I thought to myself, “Self, maybe you should write a blog about AWNM.” Then after I wrote it all out, it was too long for one post, so there will be two.

The premise of AWNM is that the American economy is changing, and the new developments will favor people like me; hence the hope. Daniel Pink asserts that the 90’s were run by people who could understand computers, were good at science and math. People with these skill sets were successful because proof of technical skills was all that was needed to get a job in high tech lucrative fields . According to Pink, it will take more than technical skill to get the “good jobs” in the new American economy. Job seekers will need to market themselves differently because a lot of that technical stuff can be done for pennies on the dollar by smart Asian and Indian workers oversees.

In this new American economy, the Information Age gives way to the Conceptual Age. (dunt dunt duh)

Success in the Conceptual Age requires that one marries form and function. One must understand the technical and the creative. A functional, well-designed product or service and an understanding of people and patterns will be essential to moving products and selling services. Competition will be fierce because a good number of technical products and services can be done a lot cheaper overseas, can be completed faster by computers, and because the larger consumer countries are oversaturated with stuff.

Pink’s book asserts that the future in the Conceptual Age will be brighter for those of us who can master the following aptitudes.

1. Design- form meets function. Beautiful and useful.

2. Story- a compelling, persuasive narrative that is relatable to an audience.

3. Symphony- synthesizing lots of pieces to see a complete puzzle.

4. Empathy- the ability to understand people and build relationships

5. Play-not taking work so seriously

6. Meaning- the need for self-actualization. Having fulfillment and purpose.

Basically the conceptual age means that people like me (with no real skills, lol) will finally have a chance to shine. How exciting for me!

Pink’s analysis starts with explaining how the left and right sides of the brain differ in the way they synthesize information. The left side is logical and reasons sequentially while the right side thinks holistically and interprets context and emotions. To quote the book, “The right-side of the brain is the picture and the left side is the thousand words”.

If you use your brain as a metaphor for a lot of businesses and organizations; the left brained (the techno-geeks and math nerds) have been running stuff for a while, leaving the right brained (the artistic and inventors), in the periphery. However, in the new American economy, abundance (having a whole lot of everything), Asia (cheap labor) and automation (computers) will force us to think about how we work, change our focus be better, faster, and cheaper.

In order to compete and survive, goods and services will be physically beautiful, emotionally compelling and functional. Successful people will be inventors, designers, artists and other creatives, instead of merely producers of stuff.

Even American car makers are starting to get it. A GM car executive said that he was in the business of producing art, entertainment, and mobile sculpture In order to be marketable, the car has to appeal to the right and left side of the brain. It has to do its job, but it needs to be beautiful, and a host of other things, as well.

Design

In the Conceptual Age, we will all be designers. Design makes our work more significant. Good design turns something that was merely functional into something new, useful and aesthetically pleasing. Competition will no longer rest on just price and quality. Competition will come down to which is the best designed, the prettiest, the most significant.

Design does more than make things beautiful, good design adds to functionality. Every time you use a product or services that works well and intuitively you can thank good design.

Story

Humans pick up the important facts from stories. (This is why, imho, history was always easier for me to remember when it is told in the context of a story, rather than when a teacher just threw dates of wars at me).

Sharing information in the form of a story provides context and facts. Narrative places the data in a larger picture. And for us forest (rather than the trees) folk, we need the larger picture. Sharing information as a narrative conveys emotion and makes your data more relatable, and makes it accessible to a larger audience.

I learned how important Story is to organizations from a class, last fall and my summer internship bears it out. Much of an organization’s culture lies in the stories that are told, internally, about the organization and its members.

For instance, in my internship I hear a lot about what D-town used to be like, the roles that individual members of the organization played in making it a better community, and events that have taken place that changed the organization that give insight to the organization’s values and commitments.

Narrative engages people. Your story makes you special. Think about myspace, and blogging for goodness sakes! Humans want to explain who we are and show how different we are from the other billions of humans on Earth.

Symphony

Symphony is the ability to identify relationships between disparate parts. Symphony equals systems-thinking (for the more tech minded among us). Symphony means being able to see how all the details fit together into something that is better than the parts could be alone.

Think of an orchestra. The oboe probably doesn’t sound that great by itself, but the maestro can make the oboe sound really good with the flutes and the triangle, the tubas, the drums and all the other instruments.

To employ symphony is your life and career, one must be able to see patterns, synthesize rather than analyze information, take differing ideas to create something new.

During a project last semester, I worked in a group that was very detail-oriented. I would quickly tune out the conversation at large and just make note of the different suggestions that my classmates would throw out. Once they had exhausted themselves, I would repeat the overall goal, pick the best parts of the suggestions, put them all together and tell them what we were going to do and how my “suggestion” fit our needs.

A way to get some symphony in your life is to add some diversity. Having fresh new eyes and a different perspective makes it easier to pick out relationships and patterns.

Part 2 comes in a week, and I’ll talk about how empathy, play and meaning will be super-important in the Conceptual Age.

Earlier this week I was in the break room having lunch and watching TV (yes, there is a TV in the break room).  CNN was on and they were showing Obama’s speech in Berlin.  Every day this week I have read at least one article or seen one news report about Obama being in the Middle East, or Obama being somewhere and being welcomed with open arms.  On the flip side, I also have been seeing reports about how pissed off McCain has been because the media is acting like a bunch of Obama groupies.  My co-worker and I laughed that Obama is a rock star on world tour and McCain was playing at the local fair.

 

I am starting to see Obama’s appeal.  He has transcended politics and now he’s just a rock star.  I mean, Bill Clinton was a cool politician, but Obama is just.plain.cool. Obama has swagger.

 

 I watched this man on TV yesterday, and in my humble opinion, I think we have a winner, boys and girls.   I didn’t jump of the Obama bandwagon after his speech at the Democratic convention a few years ago, I wasn’t really impressed with him during his Senate term, I thought he was alright while he was duking it out with Hilary but I really wasn’t feeling him. Why you ask? Because I’ve refused to believe all the hype.  I kept thinking, “He ain’t all that.  Michelle (his wife) is way cooler, smarter, and prettier than him.”  And all that is true, but I beginning to think that he may be the real deal.  This dude may be all that he’s cracked up to be, and wouldn’t that be amazing?

 

But back to the Berlin speech; the first five or ten minutes of the speech were amazing, the crowd was wild for him.  Let me tell you, this guy can work a crowd, and the crowd LOVES him.  He wasn’t even in America, and these folks are ready to vote for him.  I think the rest of the world is ready for American to cross the color line, even if we aren’t.  And don’t we deserve a president that won’t be an embarrassment to us around the world?

 

Obama fanatics are starting to feel bad because he has had to be a politician.  Duh, what did you expect? We all want a liberal utopia, but for now we live in the real world where, sometimes you have to bend your morals and not live up to the ideals of others so that you can get sh*t done.  Don’t be mad; understand that he’s not perfect.  I don’t think that perfection could handle DC and I don’t think that Americans would even vote for perfection.  We want/need someone in DC that shares our values and ideals, is smart enough to think in terms of cause and effect, and understands how the world works and won’t wimp out when tough decisions must be made.  And I think Obama may be the Rock Star that we need. And it doesn’t hurt that he can use a f*cking computer.

 

(But I still think that John Edwards would have made a good president too)

I’ve been glued to the TV the past two nights watching CNN’s Black in America.  Wanna know what I thought about it? It was … Eh.  I guess I live Black in America everyday, so I just had a series of duh moments.  I was thinking, Did Soledad really need to interview folks to learn all this stuff.  Sh*t, she’s living Black in America every day she already knew this stuff.

 

So I’m thinking, who is her target audience?  I mean, there were lots of educated Black folks watching, Atlanta had watch parties at all the best restaurants so that people could get their drink on and see the show.  And I was invited to at least one House party where the focus would have been on the show.

 

But as I’ve listened to the radio for the past few days, I keep hearing that people didn’t learn anything knew, and that they weren’t surprised by anything they saw.  So, educated Blacks already knew what was up. So again, I ask, who was the target audience?

 

Then I think about the commercials that were playing, and they were all so multi-cultural.  Little Black and African kids sharing McD’s French fries, Black, Asian, Latino business people dancing as they go to hotels, colored people using computers and riding in airplanes and Benzs.  These commercials were not (for the most part) hawking cheap stuff.  And they all were directly targeted at Black viewers. So does that mean that CNN wanted to show Black America what it is like to be Black in America?  It appears so.  And that is sad.

 

It ain’t black folks that need to see what its like to be Black in America.  We already know about being raised by single parents, we already know about being the working poor, we already know that the leading cause of death for young Black females is AIDS, and that so many successful Black women can’t find successful black men to date because so many Black men are in prison.  We already know that Black people die at a faster rate than whites, and that our kids do worse in school than every other nationality.

 

And I bet you that Black America could also tell you a little bit about what it’s like to be white in America.  I know a little bit about white privilege (I could also tell you about straight privilege, but that is for another day).  I’m not saying that all white people are rich and healthy and smart (I know better than that.  I taught 1^st graders where all of them, the blacks, whites and Hispanics were all sickly, poor and hungry.)  But I am well aware that it is more likely that blacks will die quickly, in poverty, and in a lower socio-economic bracket. 

 

So I wonder, why was CNN targeting a Black audience?  And why wasn’t Bush and every member of Congress fed-exed an f*cking copy of this?  The issues that were discussed during Black in America, for the most part, are policy issues. These issues have to do with access to quality housing, jobs, food, education, opportunities.  It kills me that so many people live in a cycle of poverty, dirt, dumbness, and death.

 

 We have to help people, we have to help each other, and if we don’t then the shame does not lie with those that suffer.  It lies with the rest of us.

I had a phone call with a wonderful friend today. We talked about growing up and how much it sucks.

We talked about how we used to have these really grand, wonderful dreams and how we’ve gotten sucked into a semi-crap lives that are not at all like we envisioned.

We talked about how people can and will disappoint us and sometimes some things are just not meant to be.

We talked about how most of us (myself being first in this line) don’t really know ourselves and must rely on friends for a reality check. We talked about being afraid to really get to know ourselves because we might not like/recognize/be scared of the person that we are.

We talked about how we don’t always feel like the person looking back at us in the mirror. We talked about not knowing how we got this far from ourselves.

We talked about taking risks, and feeling out of control and slinking back into something more comfortable and safe. And about how this is so wrong and how we should stop this behavior. We don’t want to be normal, and we are afraid that we are.

We talked about vulnerability and about allowing ourselves to feel the spectrum of emotions and how, when you FINALLY let yourself feel anything and God forbid, analyze those feelings, it can be incredibly overwhelming.

We talked about being true to ourselves and how we only have to live up to our own expectations. We talked about how hard it is to be our authentic selves, especially when you are used to putting the needs of others before your own or you’ve lost yourself in a situation, or you’ve forgotten what’s important. And rejection is oh so hard to deal with, especially when that whole “feeling” thing is still a pretty new concept.

We talked about how I tried to spend some time last night meditating on what I want out of life and what I should do to get there, but instead I fell asleep and didn’t wake up with any revelations.

We talked about starting over and doing what the hell ever it is that we really want.

We are going to do it; step by step, little by little. And we are going to hold each other accountable . We are better than who we have become (I don’t think I just made that up, but damn if I don’t know where I got it from)

Raise your glasses! To jumping into the abyss and following our dreams….where ever they take us.

So, everyone wants to know how the police ride-along went Thursday night, right?

 

It was fabulous I enjoyed the whole 12 hours. I love it when I meet the coolest people in the most unexpected places, and I truly met someone on Thursday that changed my life. [It has been brought to my attention that I am more dramatic than I give myself credit for (as the previous statement proves, lol.)]

But it is true! I worried all day about how the police ride-along was going to turn out. Every time I see a cop pulling over a speeder or I get pulled over (which happens a lot), I scream about how the cops should be out looking for rapists and murderers, rather than targeting speeders. And I still feel that way. But I do have more respect for police people and I learned something important about the role of the police in the community.

 

Community Policing

 

The city where I am doing my internship is so cool. I know I talk sh*t about some of the boring stuff I have to do, but I am impressed every week with the cool stuff that D-town does. Community policing is one of those super cool things.

 

Community Policing basically means that the cops don’t come banging in as “Mr. Authority Bow Down to ME I am the POLICE”. Community Police act more like customer service people; they try to solve problems in the community. This police force folks truly believe in protect and serve, and that makes me happy. They do all this while having a reputation for being tough on crime.

 

For example, one of the calls that we went to involved stolen property. The victim was a young chick, who did something stupid, got caught up, and was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She got her computer stolen. She knew who took it, but she couldn’t prove it and she didn’t know how to get her it back.

 

We went out to her, and got the phone number of the perp (hee hee), called the guy, told him that if he returned the property by the end of the night that he wouldn’t get into trouble. At first, I was like, really, aren’t we going to go slam this guy into jail?!?!?!

 

After we left, my awesome officer explained to me that his goal, first and foremost, was to help the victim. And in this case, helping the victim meant getting her back her property. And guess what, at about 3 in the morning, we got a call from the chick saying that the guy had brought her back her stuff (and we’ll still probably get the bad guy, this time or the next time, because guess what, if he isn’t caught from this crime, the idiot will do something else stupid and get caught)

This next event actually made my night; we got called to a house for an automatic alarm. My officer recognized that is was a house that had been burglarized 2x before so we hightailed it over there. We couldn’t find anything wrong at the house, but instead of shrugging and saying “oh well”, my officer and I go look for them. (After he deduces that the owners were probably down at one of the pubs near their home) And I don’t mean just a drive-by look-see, I mean we went into every pub on every corner of a half mile around their house. He knew their descriptions (and their dogs) and had me looking for them as well. We didn’t find them, but around midnight, we rode back by their house and found them at home. We checked in to make sure everything was ok, (it was). And after seeing them, I realized that I had seen them in one of the bars, (whoops, my bad, my definition of petite and my officer’s differ wildly, lol)

 

I was moved that he was concerned enough to go that extra mile, and so was the family that we check in on.

 

Police should be a visible and welcomed presence in the community

 

We saw kids (black teens with baggy clothes and white t-shirts) walking down the middle of the street, and I was thinking to myself, uh oh, this is not going to go well. My officer stopped the car, rolled down his window, and asked the kids, “why the hell are ya’ll walking down the middle of the street when there is a very nice sidewalk?” The kids were laughing with him, even when he told them that next time he was running them down. Wanna know why? Those kids see him all the time, and they know and trust him. AND my officer knows the difference between black kids walking in their neighborhood minding their own business and black kids doing something suspicious. The kids were more concerned with the pretty girl in the car, than they were with anything else.

 

Police have it rough

 

v Some people hate them for no reason (my bad, sorry)

v Some people want to kill them just for being cops

v Cops lose friends just by being cops

v The job consumes their lives (they work 12 hour shifts, 5 days a week, and they have to sleep sometimes)

v Almost no one is happy to see the police (unlike the fireman)

v People expect them to behave a certain way.

v It’s hard to relax when you are a cop, hence the rampant drug and alcohol abuse (you try getting shot at for a living)

v Even when they are off, they aren’t really off, (don’t let folks in the community know that you’re a cop, they expect you to be at their beck and call.

v It takes a toll on having relationships (especially romantic ones)

v Some things only another cop can understand, so you find it hard to talk to loved ones

v Cops are always on high alert

v Cops only hear complaints, seldom compliments

v They have to walk a thin line…they are under constant scrutiny and mistakes can be deadly

 

Being fair and doing the right thing

 

The one rough spot of the night was when we did a random license check and found out that a lady was driving alone with a learners permit. We had to give her a ticket. And my officer, by that point in the night, knew me well enough to know how I felt about giving tickets, asked me how I felt about it. When I told him it made me sick to my stomach, he reminded me about something that I think about all the time: being fair and doing the right thing.

 

Being fair means trying everyone the same way, duh. But seriously, I had to go stand in a long ass line at the DMV and pay the money to get my license, I pay $150 a month on car insurance, and I pay my property taxes on my car yearly. And if I have to do those things, then dammit, everyone else should to. And one way that cops make sure that everyone follows the rules is to do random checks and give tickets when folks disobey them.

 

Another thing that my officer and I discussed was how, in doing random checks (from the back of the car, so the officer doesn’t know the color or ethnicity of the driver) when an undocumented immigrant is driving without a license, cops should (but I don’t think this is actually happening in the US) be able to take the immigrant to the police department, fine them for being illegally driving (or illegal period), fingerprint them, and put them in queue to get licensed, and get tax id numbers, because, sh*t if they are going to be here, using social services (schools, health departments, etc) then they should pay into the system. AND if by chance, they are criminals, we can prosecute them, or sent them back to their home country.

 

And you do these things for everyone, even when it makes your stomach hurt.

 

Doing the right thing is a little bit harder, and cops have a lot of discretion when it comes to doing the right thing. To come back to the stolen property incident, the right thing to do was to get her back her property. Even though the rulebook (and most cops) would say GET THE PERP AT ALL COST. If we had gone that route, that young girl would never have gotten her stuff back, because the perp wouldn’t have had any reason to give it back. By telling him we wouldn’t press charges if he brought it back, we let the bad guy go, but we met the goal of the person that called the police in the first place.

 

So even though some would be upset at that outcome, it made me feel really good.

 

Cops can’t be PC. They have to treat everyone with respect, understand cultural differences, and talk to people on their level. They have to be careful not to talk down to people, not to frighten them, and not to piss them off. Some people would say a scenario with young black, Hispanic, or white man should sound exactly the same. NOT! Especially if you don’t want to take someone to jail. People respond differently to different tones, words and police procedures.

 

Sometimes the right thing to do isn’t easy or palatable and sometimes doing the right thing breaks the rules.

 

Cops can be cool people too

 

I think I peed at every public school in the city’s school district. Why? Because my officer has keys to all the buildings, and his bladder was smaller than mine. And we had frequent smoke breaks, lol.

 

On those smoke breaks, I had to chase him down to talk to him, finally I asked him why he was running away and he said he didn’t want to blow smoke in my face but no matter where he stood, the wind blew the smoke in my face. So considerate, right?

 

My cop has about 14 tattoos and most of the other officers think he belongs in a circus. That automatically gives him cool points with me. And he gave me the name of his tattoo artist so I can get my ink

 

For fun, he restores Vespa motor scooters (he tried to sell me one, but not if it meant that I was going to max out my credit card, lol) And his fiancé is burlesque dance! Don’t know about you, but that just made my day. He is one of a few city people in D-town that I really wanted to tell that I was gay, but didn’t.

 

Over pizza we talked about his background and how he spend some years traveling in Europe and South America in his words “wasting time”, and I am soooo jealous because I really want to go overseas and I’ve spend my twenties doing the right thing. Anyway, it was mostly a conversation about risks and how I’m scared to take them. He said, of course, all I have to do is make the decision to go, and then actually do it; which I haven’t been able to do. And I hate looking like a coward, but he outed me so quickly in a way that I couldn’t dispute. All I was able to do was say that it scares me not to be in control and randomly quiting my life and moving to Brazil seemed awfully irresponsibe. He nodded and said, “So what. Get over yourself and join the peace Corp or do something but you have to make yourself happy! I hate it that he made it sound so damn easy and he made me believe that I could do it. *sigh*

 

When we were matched at the station (at the beginning of the shift), he didn’t say hello, he said “let’s go” and walked away, LOL. He had just gotten a call, and literally I jogged to keep up with him. (And I jogged all night to keep up with his pace.) We got into his patrol car and burned rubber to my first scene. Within 30 minutes he had already scared the sh*t out of himself and me (and some citizens sitting at a traffic light, lol.)

 

Note: Impalas are front wheel drive and are unpredictable when going 70 in a curve in a downtown area, Crown Vics are much better police cars because they are rear wheel drive, and can take a curve)

 

From my super awesome officer, I learned to be more aware of my surroundings. I learned more about identifying suspicious behavior and distinguishing suspicious behavior from normal behavior. I learned how to assess a scene and keep myself out of trouble. I saw someone defuse a potentially bad situation with humor and honesty. I was reminded that force should never be a first option and that while respect is earned not given, sometimes people earn respect without us knowing it.

 

Bottom line, I enjoyed my police ride-along, not only because I got to drive really fast through the city, sirens blaring…(which was loads of fun) but also because I learned something new and unexpected. I made a new friend, and learned some things about myself in the process. AND he dealt with having a smelly girl in his car (my deodorant stopped working, lol) and while I hoped that no one could smell me, the gf confirmed for me how stinky I was when she covered her nose to walk by me when I got home, lol.

 

It is amazing how much you can learn about a person in 12 hours, when both parties are willing to challenge assumptions, check their respective egos at the door and are open to having a real conversation.

Every since Jesse Helms died a few weeks ago I’ve wanted to write about it. His death reminds me that evil does die, sometimes it just takes a little longer than usual. His death means that there is a generation of people whose purpose in live seemed to revolve around the oppression and subjugation of others who are all dead or dying. Is it wrong that this makes me happy?

I mean, I’m southern and proud of it dammit (sometimes, at least) and I’ve lived in North Carolina for a number of years, so I’m quite familiar with Jesse; the homophobic, racist, asshole . I know a bit about his hatred of blacks and gays. I’ve heard for years about how strongly he opposed civil rights for Blacks and the way he killed a black man’s chance to be NC’s governor. I remember reading about how he reportedly said that NC should fence off Chapel Hill and call it a zoo (there are a large, active gay community in Chapel Hill). I know about this man who would quote Bible scriptures and condemn entire populations of people to death and hell in the same breath.

Needless to say, I want to give his dead corpse the finger and say good riddance (but that wouldn’t be nice) And unfortunately, there isn’t anything else that I could come up with to write that didn’t make me come off as a hateful bitch who didn’t care that someone had died. Since I’m trying to be a better person, I’m not allowed to be a hateful bitch, that would be stooping to his level, and that would take too much of my time.

Fortunately for me, I found this very tasteful and well-written article that expresses my sentiments on this subject much better than I can. Enjoy!

My sister Michaele is really the smartest person I know, and I know some really smart people. She’s going to college this fall and I’m so excited and really really sad.  Who’s going to play with me while she’s at college?!?!?

This chick applied to some of the most prestigious historically black universities and colleges in the country and purposefully stuck her nose up at and refused to apply to a couple of really good North Carolina “white” schools and my alma mater because as she said matter of factly, “she had no intention of going.” LOL! I know, ballsy, right?

She applied to Spelman College (accepted), Hampton University (accepted), Howard University (accepted), unfortunately financial aid for an out-of-state student at a private university is hard to come by. For some reason, being single mother of four, working as a school bus driver and teacher (where you get paid crap), does not qualify a student for the necessary loans, grants, etc to attend anything other than a public university. And even with a 4.0+ GPA, a host of clubs, service ventures, and other smart kid honors.

Well, Michaele got some local scholarships from different organizations and societies (totaling a substantial amount of money) but she still didn’t get enough to cover the cost of tuition for the first year, and FAFSA said that my mom and sister (yes, my 18 year old sister) should be able to contribute roughly $1500 and 1000 respectively.

Michaele works as a pharmacy tech at our local Kerr Drug, but she makes enough for gas, her phone, and the occasional shopping trip. Not enough to quickly come up with a G, and the same with my mom, I mean WTF?  Seriously, are they to go out back to the money tree in the back yard and shake something down.

So my mom and I have been worrying ourselves silly about how in the world were we going to pay for this girl to go to college. I mean, to me, the best case scenario was that we would get her through this first year by hook or crook, and she would then transfer to one of those in-state schools that she had previously stuck her nose up at.

Silly me for worrying. While my mom and I would sit for hours and think of ways to pay for Michaele’s schooling, this chick would go to the mall with her friends. She had the right idea and some outstanding faith, man.

This past Tuesday I got a call from Miss Thang and she reads me this letter from this organization that I’ve never heard of. They are basically paying for her entire undergraduate education!  In return she gets to do community service (which she would have done anyway), network with other students, live in the honors dorm, have summer employment opportunities, national & international travel opportunities, conferences, etc!

I am so excited and she is even more excited!  To her, this opportunity is a way to pay for school, but it is also a way to meet students, network with potential employers, differentiate herself on campus and leave her mark on the community (in her own words).  How cool is that!

Yay for me not to have to be a stripper to send my little sister to college!!!!!!

Was just reading this article about how your high school persona affects the industry you work in and your salary range.

Their categories included:

• Cheerleaders
• Jocks
• Geeks
• Student Government
• Teachers Pets
• Honor Society
• Drama Club
• Class Clowns

CareerBuilder, in a survey, found that cheerleaders were more likely than any other group to be a vice president of a company. Teachers pets and student government members are more likely to be directors or team leads. Geeks tend to work in engineering or retail and class clowns seem to gravitate more to manufacturing.

They also found that honor society members and student government members (ie: overachievers) were more likely to make six figures; more specifically, almost 50% of these groups make $50,000 or more. (Are we surprised by this, really?)

Hmmm, I don’t really fit into any of those categories. I was one of the uber-cool kids in the corner of the classroom making fun of the losers in class and cracking jokes about why everyone else sucked. Everyone wanted to sit on our side of the classroom. It was where all the fun happened. Teachers loved me; its funny how teachers don’t really mind if you are loud and a little disruptive if you make good grades and don’t mind helping others, and generally bring out the best in your classmates (yes, I’m tooting my own horn )

The eclectic, the unusual, the self-expressive all flocked to me and I loved it. I could be found chilling with the comic-book readers, the blue haired skateboarders, the artists, the readers, the Latin club kids (super-duper weirdos). Come to think about it, I collected all the people that didn’t fit in anywhere else and I was able to feel comfortable in disparate groups of people.

So maybe that says more than I think about how I ended up a misunderstood Philosophy major that could do anything and nothing. Maybe that’s why employers really want to hire me, they really like me, they know I’ll fit into their organization but they just weren’t sure where to put me.

Just maybe my high school persona has a little something to do with why I’m so interested in diversity and community building. Maybe I’ve being training my whole life to help people figure out where they belong and to create the space for everyone to be themselves-together.