Dear Baby Sister,

Don’t repeat my mistakes.

My baby sister is on her way to college, and I hope that she has observed and listened to me talking about my missteps and my triumphs and has learned from them. But just in case, here’s a top ten list of the most memorable.

1. Have a job while in high school.

I started out working at one of the local grocery stores while I was a high school junior. The summer before my senior year I started working at a local government office. That year I worked two jobs while taking AP and Honors classes, but it wasn’t that big a deal since school wasn’t that hard.

It is so important for students to have some work experience before entering college. It teaches responsibility, true, but more importantly, it gives the student an idea of the kind of work environment and work they like (or not).

From the grocery store I learned that I like working around other people, and that I am good with customers and that work doesn’t feel so much like work if I have people to talk to.

From the local government agency, I learned that I can do basic office work with my eyes closed and that I like knowing what’s going on in my local community.

Lil’ sis is all good on this front. She worked with me in a restaurant 3 summers ago, realized she didn’t like working in a fancy restaurant and found her niche working in a pharmacy. (She knows soooo many people and all the drugs they are on, lol).

2. Be active in the school community

On this I don’t have to worry about baby sis. She’s a much better student and her extracurricular are way better than mine. I thought I was doing good to be in the National Classical League and French Clubs, the African-American Club and on staff of the yearbook and copy editor of the school newspaper. I was in clubs to meet people, socialize and get out of class.

This chick, (my sister) is in clubs because she’s smarter than mostly everyone in her school, which is why she is 26^th in a class of 236. (I taught her how to read, so I can brag a bit)

She’s in the African American Club (most of the black kids and some of the white ones, lol, were in it), Beta Club (that’s just for smart people), and the National Achievers Society (also just for smart people).

High school extracurricular activities I taught me how to work with others. I learned that I work best under strict deadlines; I learned that I’m not the strongest writer, but I can edit the hell out of other people’s work, and I learned that doing good in the community can and should be fun (thank you Ms. Murray and the shenanigans of the OHS JCL)

3. Pick a college that based on what it can give you.

I picked my college because I fell in love with it almost immediately upon arriving on campus. I loved the campus, the people, and the awesome girl power that was everywhere.

No one was able to provide me with a reasonable argument for choosing another school, but someone should have.

I chose my school with my heart and not my brain. This was a mistake. Don’t get me wrong, I loved lots of things about my school, but it wasn’t the most challenging academic environment. Granted, I wasn’t the most focused student, either.

4. Take advantage of college’s opportunities.

I did take classes at a neighboring larger university; I needed to get out of the cloistered walls of my tiny school. I didn’t make the best grades in those classes, but I loved every minute and I worked damn hard for that B and C.

At tiny college, I didn’t work very hard to secure the best internships, and I should have. I missed building a network that could have been helpful for me after college.

No one taught us about grants and fellowships that could have paid for study abroad. I didn’t think that I could afford to go, I didn’t do my own financial research into what funds were available and in the end, I didn’t go. I will regret that forever, even if I travel extensively as an adult.

But I did try to run track one year, now I know that I’ll never be an Olympic sprinter, but it was fun even though I thought my legs would fall off.

In college, I really only did enough to get by, and that was a mistake.

5. Work off-campus while in college.

My first and second years of college, I worked on-campus in a variety of offices from an academy dean to the athletic department. I came and went to work as I pleased, but usually I just hung out in my dorm room pretending to study.

That all changed when I got a job off-campus in a restaurant. Taking harder classes and working off-campus kind of happened at the same time. So I had to manage my time; get my school work done, work 20+ hours a week and have time for my active social life. I thrived under the pressure.

I truly believe that working off-campus made me a better student on-campus. And I further developed and improved my “soft” skills. I loved that job (most days) for three years.

6. Try everything.

I mean classes, not drugs, lol. You are in school to learn, so don’t get suckered into concentrating on just your major classes.

I took a lot of classes, mainly because I changed my major a lot. And the major that I did pick, I found by accident.

But I didn’t take any Women’s Studies classes; I had a complex or I was in denial or something I missed out though; I think I would have enjoyed learning about women. Hee, hee.

Lesson here is: You never know what you might like until you try. So try a lot and don’t make assumptions.

7. Stay in touch with your friends.

Your college friends are your last friends. I know that sucks, but it’s hard to find the time to make friends as an adult. After college I missed the hell out of my friends and I have spent many hours over the past few years finding and reconnecting with old friends from college. Luckily, I’ve found some of them.

In the adult world, I worked with people my parents’ age. It’s hard to party like a rockstar with your boss, although I have tried. Your college friends can be your salvation.

8. Learn how to network…soon.

After college, I worked a crap job for a year, and then I was unemployed for a month because I didn’t know how to network. Asking for help, asking for a referral, asking for an interview is not begging, it’s networking, learn how, now.

The year I worked a worked a crap job, I told an alumna from my school that I was coming to DC for an interview, and I didn’t have anywhere to stay. She let me sleep on her couch and she introduced me around Capitol Hill. I didn’t get the job, but I learned about people power, and the importance of networking.

9. Don’t be afraid to transfer to a different school.

I should have transferred. By the end of the first semester of the first year, I knew that my college wasn’t what I needed, but I waited until I had a couple of really horrible grades before I seriously considered leaving and by then it was too late.

My school laid the foundation that I needed, but I could have gotten an education better suited for me somewhere else.

10. Pay attention to life off-campus

In my hometown, there is a very large university and not too far down the road, there is another huge university. The students that go to these two schools and some of the professors and administration of these schools never leave the city limits. What a shame.

It is amazing to me that these schools recruit world-wide, they send thousands of kids abroad, their professors present at conferences everywhere, but many of them don’t know who their local government officials are and they don’t vote?!?!??!? That’s insanity.

The world starts outside your front door, so soak in everything from your local community to your global community. The WHOLE world is your oyster, don’t overlook any of it.

I hated the town where my college was, but I knew that city from the ghetto to the high rises. My friends and I explored every inch of it, we still hated it but we understood exactly why.

That town wasn’t all bad, that town had its good parts, and we found them all, lol. We went to gallery-hops and pub crawls and football games and regional fairs, we rode the drunken party bus wherever it took us. We visited other colleges, we traveled up and down the east coast. Road trip was my middle name.

My college experience was so much fun, but in retrospect, I totally wasted it. I hope my baby sis doesn’t do the same. I hope I’ve taught her well.